I am from watching the sunrises
climb through the pine woods surrounding the house of my childhood, the sun dappling the damp floor of the forest
   soft,
golden, 
       gleaming

I am from unruly, tangled, corkscrewed blonde hair
and hiding under the play house, hoping my mother wouldn’t try to tame it that day
I am from “outside or downstairs!” squawked by Susana,
who was entertained more by her telenovelas than by us
I am from Thor and Matthew and Erin and Katie and Lorenzo, and no longer from Maggie
(Some friends aren’t worth the trouble)

I am from not knowing (and not naming) any mystical power that exists, only believing
there is one
I am from loving the wonder and beauty of the universe,
shown in the lilac flowers and in a pleasant petrichor
from the heavy  raindrops splashing the dry earth,
in the thunderstorms turning into a drizzly mist when nature is through her rage,
in the sunrise and the soil and
in the tickling heat on the back of my neck
as the setting sun nips and tugs at the wispy hairs that have fallen away from the rest, piled on top of my head
I am from horseback riding at Jan’s on Monday nights,
swaying in sync with Echo’s easy canter
and humming along with the cicadas’ song

(If you blow in the nose of a horse they'll remember you forever)

I am from riding ‘El Torro’ during the commercial break of the Packer’s game,
before Jacquelyn and I slipped a disk in my dad’s back
I am from “How are you, Uncle Tom?” and I am from “I’m horrible, thanks for asking”--
(ex-rodeo stars make gruff and grouchy great uncles)
I am from a golden apple pie straight out of the oven,
the cinnamon and sugar, sweet and overpowering, warming the crisp fall air sifting in through the windows of the kitchen

I am from April Showers and Betty Boop and Apii
loving names given to me by those I love
I am from thriving in chaos, feeling at peace in big cities, surrounded by people whose
problems are just as valid and vivid as mine-
I am from watching sunsets
gently illuminating the sweet pink, deep green and buttery yellow flowers in the windows of my new home,

soft
and golden
and gleaming