I have a question:
Why can't I breathe anymore?
Why is it that my lungs don’t seem to work anymore?
Why is my throat constricting?

why is this life getting so damn hard?
Why is this so freaking confusing?
As life gets me older,
l have such a hard time 
deciding who I am

And with that indecision
comes my lack of breathing.
Like a huge, heavy weight,
sitting like a anvil
upon my chest, with no intention of moving.

How can you people tell me
that growing up is easy?
It's the hardest thing I've ever attempted
God damn me if I fail
at getting from point A to point B.

I know what point B is.
I understand the adult I want to be.
What I don’t know is
What is necessary to 
get on that graph or that line between A and B.

And there is the anxiety,
the troubling thoughts that keep me up at night.
How can I do what so many others cannot?
What can I do, when I am not the one
who drowns out the worries?

Some kids get drunk,
some kids get high,
neither are really an option for me.
I have a sport.
I have standards.

But sometimes it's so hard,
not to do the stupid stuff 
I see other kids doing.
Because I am scared 
of growing up and thus entering Hell.