for Cohen

do you remember the night
that Yatsu died?
it was the first night
i ever indulged in that
bitter-sweet taste of
those spirits hiding in the
liquor cabinet...
also the first time i ever
inhaled the acrid smoke
i am now addicted to.
i remember that they were
american spirits.
but do you remember the color?
were they the blacks?
or were they the light blues?
that’s what I smoke now…
i never really understood
what their plethora of colors meant,
even now, i’m not sure.
what does the color matter?
why does it matter to me
so much?
because… because...because..
i want to remember
every moment of that night,
i want to be able to relive it.

i think they were the light blues.

i looked it up.
maybe i should try the
gold packs, apparently they’re,
“very, very good”
better than the light blues (supposedly).

no.
i think i’ll stick with them.
i want to remember.
i have to remember.

do you remember, Cohen?
or is that just a far away,
distant memory,
lurking in your subconscious?