I can't believe this is me
I can't believe I just did that
I never wanted to be this
What even am I?
Who even am I?
I'm so disgusted with myself
Just an object
I'm just an object that anyone can control
I can't believe I let him do that to me
It didn't feel like a regret when it was happening

I just miss being in love
And I don't want to be alone
But I don't want to be in love with anyone other than him
I am not in love with anyone else
And it hurts

When I showed up tonight
I reminded myself that I don't even want to be back with him
Because of how badly he hurt me
But now it hurts
When I showed up tonight, I thought I was over him
I want it to stop

And if being without him hasn't stopped the pain
Being with him would