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Me Vs. The Monster
For awhile being sober was fine
I kept telling myself
"It's mind over matter"
After awhile
The need
The momories
The feeling engulfed me whole
And poisoned my mind
Secretly
My mind tried to escape
To where there is no such thing as "sober"
Slowly the days crept by
Every night the monster inside my soul
Would poison me little by little
Until I finally broke
It started with a cigarette
Then the monster took over
It locked my soul in the dark
And I was no longer in control
Inside my hand
It was so close I could almost taste it
"You sacred
It's not going to hurt you
You're strong
You're in control"
It was me against the monster
The poison was too strong
My hand opened the capsule
Dumped straight down my throat
Chased with Ginger-Ale
The monster unlocked the door
And my soul was free
Until my body absorbed the beads
I licked my lips
A sigh of relief escapes my damaged lungs
A smile crosses my face
And my mind starts to race
Within moments my mind was free
"I have missed you sweet enemy"
The monster hugs me tightly
And the high takes me on a wild ride
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I wrote this the first time I relapsed in hope to try and get myself to realize that I can't crumble to pieces no matter how good the feeling is