it didn't matter 

that people told her that suicide 

was not so much an answer

but a disaster and that

she would eventually be okay

it didn't matter 

that her mother cried

everytime she saw the 

stains 

it didn't matter

that maybe there was people

that she was leaving behind in

pain

it didn't matter

that her dad would blame himself

for not being there everyday

because all that mattered then 

was the blade in her hand 

and her longing to leave behind 

the darkness that she always felt 

all that mattered 

was finally being rid

of the people that made her believe 

all she was,

was pathetic