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A Girl Made of Glass
May 27, 2015
I love what is
beyond my grasp
I reach for your hand
you can’t reach back
I know why
but my heart won’t accept
that it’s strength has been felled
by a girl
made of glass
I Look at you
see my reflection
I love you
but there’s no connection
I reach out to touch you
don’t push too hard
afraid you’ll break
and shatter my heart
I stand near you
fill the air
with useless words
that you can’t hear
I kiss you
it rolls down your cheek
I take your hands
they’re cold as snow
nothing I do
can make them warm
In my mind
I see the reality
I want
for you and me
I want to dance with you
cause no one’s around
I know they’d laugh
look
a boy dancing
with a girl
made of glass
I’m stuck staring at you
my eyes can’t see past you
I look into your eyes
and I can’t help but wonder
if it’s not you made of glass
it’s me
© Liana D., Somers, CT
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JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 27 comments.
Consalvator BRONZE said...
on Sep. 22 2016 at 3:43 pm
The ironic thing is I've actually read and rated this poem before. I love your style of writing, it's very detail-imagery focused. I relate to this poem, and the image is absolutely breathtaking. Again, my critique is your flow/line count (see other comment). Also, your punctuation is all over the place. It looks better in a poem to either choose to punctuate, or to choose not to. While there aren't rules in poetry, that's one of the unspoken ones. Beautiful work, again.
minnie16 said...
on Jun. 9 2016 at 4:43 pm
Beautiful, I love how you managed to capture such a painful feeling in your poem!
NymeriaWaters PLATINUM said...
on Jun. 3 2016 at 2:18 pm
This poem is really well crafted. It is super well made, and the words flow together so well. A bit of punctuation may help, but I know that formatting can sometimes get screwed up on teenink.
Tylersaysrawr GOLD said...
on May. 31 2016 at 7:29 pm
I love this!
KingKamidere-Sama BRONZE said...
on May. 1 2016 at 4:18 pm
This is great. I love the sadness mixed with the romantic aspect. The words simple, but the theme so complex.
I love this! You connected the idea of the girl being glass and you falling in love with an inanimate object really well. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I read as you almost speaking of a mirror, like on a deeper level learning to love yourself. I think it may have been easier to understand if you would have added punctuation (for example, using periods after the stopping of sentences). I must say though, what I read was beautiful in a way, especially "I want to dance with you cause no one’s around I know they’d laugh look a boy dancing with a girl made of glass" This was my favorite part of the poem! Great job overall! I would love to read more of your work! Also, thank you for the comments on my poetry, they're much appreciated!
ItsTimeToBegin PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 3 2016 at 12:28 pm
It took me a few tries to understand it because there wasn't punctuation, but once I read it, I thought THIS IS AMAZING! :D
writer-violist DIAMOND said...
on Nov. 9 2015 at 9:26 pm
Nice ending! Line spacing fits the mood and tone of the poem. I understand your message- agreeing with @NandiniK. This really is a great and nice piece of work. Great job with all the imagery. I encourage you to write more. God bless! :)
Temperance SILVER said...
on Sep. 20 2015 at 10:18 am
I really enjoyed the structure, I've always been a fan of short verses. The title is a good one, its clear simple, and sets the poem up. Although i don't think the poem is a metaphor because you are specifically explaining the actual actions of loving someone and not telling them. But I really did enjoy it.
PoeticAtheist SILVER said...
on Sep. 18 2015 at 7:09 pm
Calum, thank you so much for posting this. I loved the structure and imagery that you brought to the piece.
Darius_Nobles GOLD said...
on Sep. 14 2015 at 10:32 am
TeenInk.com/users/Darius_Nobles Please Leave Constructive Criticism, There's always room for improvement. Thanks Enjoy.
Consalvator BRONZE said...
on Aug. 21 2015 at 11:22 pm
This is a beautiful piece, and the subtle metaphor behind it was breathtaking. Excellent work!
SomeoneMagical PLATINUM said...
on Aug. 19 2015 at 6:46 pm
I really like this:) you have talent
BlanishCoffee BRONZE said...
on Jul. 30 2015 at 11:59 am
I LOVE IT SO MUCH! honestly an amazing poem, the flow.
Wow, one of, if not the most moving poems I've read on here. I'm a sucker for a good rhyme scheme and you literally nailed it. Would lovvve if you could give me some feedback on one of my poems! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/806765/A-Daughters-Sorrow/
This poem is a metaphor for loving someone and not knowing how to tell them. You constantly stare at them and you know it can never happen. At the end, what I mean is that I've realized it might not be her keeping us from getting into a relationship, it's me.
"This poem is a metaphor for loving someone and not knowing how to tell them."