A Girl Made of Glass

May 27, 2015
By Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments

I love what is
beyond my grasp
I reach for your hand
you can’t reach back

I know why
but my heart won’t accept
that it’s strength has been felled
by a girl
made of glass

I Look at you
see my reflection
I love you
but there’s no connection

I reach out to touch you
don’t push too hard
afraid you’ll break
and shatter my heart

I stand near you
fill the air
with useless words
that you can’t hear

I kiss you
it rolls down your cheek

I take your hands
they’re cold as snow
nothing I do
can make them warm

In my mind
I see the reality
I want
for you and me

I want to dance with you
cause no one’s around
I know they’d laugh
look
a boy dancing
with a girl
made of glass

I’m stuck staring at you
my eyes can’t see past you

I look into your eyes
and I can’t help but wonder
if it’s not you made of glass
it’s me


The author's comments:

"This poem is a metaphor for loving someone and not knowing how to tell them."


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This article has 27 comments.


on Sep. 22 2016 at 3:43 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The ironic thing is I've actually read and rated this poem before. I love your style of writing, it's very detail-imagery focused. I relate to this poem, and the image is absolutely breathtaking. Again, my critique is your flow/line count (see other comment). Also, your punctuation is all over the place. It looks better in a poem to either choose to punctuate, or to choose not to. While there aren't rules in poetry, that's one of the unspoken ones. Beautiful work, again.

Calum BRONZE said...
on Jun. 9 2016 at 7:06 pm
Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments
Thank you!. I don't find it painful at all, though.

minnie16 said...
on Jun. 9 2016 at 4:43 pm
minnie16, Grosse Pointe Woods, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Beautiful, I love how you managed to capture such a painful feeling in your poem!

on Jun. 3 2016 at 2:18 pm
NymeriaWaters PLATINUM, Holland, Michigan
21 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We are all Worms, but I do believe I'm a glow worm"- Winston Churchill

This poem is really well crafted. It is super well made, and the words flow together so well. A bit of punctuation may help, but I know that formatting can sometimes get screwed up on teenink.

on May. 31 2016 at 7:29 pm
Tylersaysrawr GOLD, Lyons, New York
11 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Smile little princess things get better" <3

I love this!

on May. 1 2016 at 4:18 pm
KingKamidere-Sama BRONZE, Rochester, New York
2 articles 1 photo 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Did the money pay for all that you wanted?
Or was it your soul that really paid the price?"
-Yami Kurai

This is great. I love the sadness mixed with the romantic aspect. The words simple, but the theme so complex.

dya.o PLATINUM said...
on Jan. 19 2016 at 11:17 am
dya.o PLATINUM, Milton, Florida
43 articles 0 photos 86 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If consensus is overrated, I think balance is, too.
I have no interest in living a balanced life.
I want a life of adventure.” | Chris Guillebeau

I love this! You connected the idea of the girl being glass and you falling in love with an inanimate object really well. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I read as you almost speaking of a mirror, like on a deeper level learning to love yourself. I think it may have been easier to understand if you would have added punctuation (for example, using periods after the stopping of sentences). I must say though, what I read was beautiful in a way, especially "I want to dance with you cause no one’s around I know they’d laugh look a boy dancing with a girl made of glass" This was my favorite part of the poem! Great job overall! I would love to read more of your work! Also, thank you for the comments on my poetry, they're much appreciated!

on Jan. 3 2016 at 12:28 pm
ItsTimeToBegin PLATINUM, Lexington, Massachusetts
29 articles 0 photos 49 comments
It took me a few tries to understand it because there wasn't punctuation, but once I read it, I thought THIS IS AMAZING! :D

IsaacB SILVER said...
on Nov. 10 2015 at 9:22 pm
IsaacB SILVER, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
8 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I really like the extended metaphor in this poem--how somebody so fragile can still have so much effect on you, and how these roles might actually be reversed.

on Nov. 9 2015 at 9:26 pm
writer-violist DIAMOND, Jenks, Oklahoma
63 articles 4 photos 84 comments

Favorite Quote:
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings

Nice ending! Line spacing fits the mood and tone of the poem. I understand your message- agreeing with @NandiniK. This really is a great and nice piece of work. Great job with all the imagery. I encourage you to write more. God bless! :)

on Sep. 30 2015 at 8:56 am
NandiniK SILVER, Dalhousie, Other
9 articles 1 photo 10 comments
It is really nice and the message is well expressed!

on Sep. 20 2015 at 10:18 am
Temperance SILVER, Austin, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The facts of this world seen clearly, are those seen through tears." -Margaret Atwood

I really enjoyed the structure, I've always been a fan of short verses. The title is a good one, its clear simple, and sets the poem up. Although i don't think the poem is a metaphor because you are specifically explaining the actual actions of loving someone and not telling them. But I really did enjoy it.

on Sep. 18 2015 at 7:09 pm
PoeticAtheist SILVER, Durham, North Carolina
7 articles 7 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I go to seek a great perhaps."

Calum, thank you so much for posting this. I loved the structure and imagery that you brought to the piece.

on Sep. 14 2015 at 10:32 am
Darius_Nobles GOLD, San Angelo, Texas
17 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
'Today you are you, and that's truer than true. There's no one alive that's youer than you." Dr. Seuss

TeenInk.com/users/Darius_Nobles Please Leave Constructive Criticism, There's always room for improvement. Thanks Enjoy.

on Aug. 21 2015 at 11:22 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is a beautiful piece, and the subtle metaphor behind it was breathtaking. Excellent work!

on Aug. 19 2015 at 6:46 pm
SomeoneMagical PLATINUM, Durham, New Hampshire
22 articles 1 photo 260 comments
I really like this:) you have talent

on Jul. 30 2015 at 11:59 am
BlanishCoffee BRONZE, Sterling, Virginia
2 articles 0 photos 11 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Women like 2 things,knives and unicorns."

I LOVE IT SO MUCH! honestly an amazing poem, the flow.

on Jul. 4 2015 at 8:19 pm
alaina_h BRONZE, Wilmington, Delaware
4 articles 3 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. -Audrey Hepburn

Wow, one of, if not the most moving poems I've read on here. I'm a sucker for a good rhyme scheme and you literally nailed it. Would lovvve if you could give me some feedback on one of my poems! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/806765/A-Daughters-Sorrow/

Calum BRONZE said...
on Jun. 28 2015 at 1:37 pm
Calum BRONZE, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 25 comments
This poem is a metaphor for loving someone and not knowing how to tell them. You constantly stare at them and you know it can never happen. At the end, what I mean is that I've realized it might not be her keeping us from getting into a relationship, it's me.

on Jun. 28 2015 at 7:54 am
Katyaini SILVER, Greater Noida, Other
9 articles 0 photos 85 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a chocolate covered chilly....

Some succeed because they're destined to;
Most succeed because they're determined too

Loved it......... but the last line made me think myself...... you see yourself in your lover's eyes. So if you see his/her fault, is it him/her or you yourself. Sorry, I know this is confusing but still.... you know what I mean.




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