A Girl Made of Glass

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I love what is
beyond my grasp
I reach for your hand
you can’t reach back

I know why
but my heart won’t accept
that it’s strength has been felled
by a girl
made of glass

I Look at you
see my reflection
I love you
but there’s no connection

I reach out to touch you
don’t push too hard
afraid you’ll break
and shatter my heart

I stand near you
fill the air
with useless words
that you can’t hear

I kiss you
it rolls down your cheek

I take your hands
they’re cold as snow
nothing I do
can make them warm

In my mind
I see the reality
I want
for you and me

I want to dance with you
cause no one’s around
I know they’d laugh
look
a boy dancing
with a girl
made of glass

I’m stuck staring at you
my eyes can’t see past you

I look into your eyes
and I can’t help but wonder
if it’s not you made of glass
it’s me






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ConsalvatorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 22, 2016 at 3:43 pm
The ironic thing is I've actually read and rated this poem before. I love your style of writing, it's very detail-imagery focused. I relate to this poem, and the image is absolutely breathtaking. Again, my critique is your flow/line count (see other comment). Also, your punctuation is all over the place. It looks better in a poem to either choose to punctuate, or to choose not to. While there aren't rules in poetry, that's one of the unspoken ones. Beautiful work, again.
 
minnie16 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 9, 2016 at 4:43 pm
Beautiful, I love how you managed to capture such a painful feeling in your poem!
 
Calum replied...
Jun. 9, 2016 at 7:06 pm
Thank you!. I don't find it painful at all, though.
 
NymeriaWatersThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 3, 2016 at 2:18 pm
This poem is really well crafted. It is super well made, and the words flow together so well. A bit of punctuation may help, but I know that formatting can sometimes get screwed up on teenink.
 
Tylersaysrawr said...
May 31, 2016 at 7:29 pm
I love this!
 
KingKamidere-Sama said...
May 1, 2016 at 4:18 pm
This is great. I love the sadness mixed with the romantic aspect. The words simple, but the theme so complex.
 
Lost_In_Her_Daydream said...
Jan. 19, 2016 at 11:17 am
I love this! You connected the idea of the girl being glass and you falling in love with an inanimate object really well. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I read as you almost speaking of a mirror, like on a deeper level learning to love yourself. I think it may have been easier to understand if you would have added punctuation (for example, using periods after the stopping of sentences). I must say though, what I read was beautiful in a way, especially "I want to dance with you caus... (more »)
 
ItsTimeToBeginThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 3, 2016 at 12:28 pm
It took me a few tries to understand it because there wasn't punctuation, but once I read it, I thought THIS IS AMAZING! :D
 
IsaacB This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 10, 2015 at 9:22 pm
I really like the extended metaphor in this poem--how somebody so fragile can still have so much effect on you, and how these roles might actually be reversed.
 
writer-violistThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 9, 2015 at 9:26 pm
Nice ending! Line spacing fits the mood and tone of the poem. I understand your message- agreeing with @NandiniK. This really is a great and nice piece of work. Great job with all the imagery. I encourage you to write more. God bless! :)
 
NandiniK This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 30, 2015 at 8:56 am
It is really nice and the message is well expressed!
 
Temperance said...
Sept. 20, 2015 at 10:18 am
I really enjoyed the structure, I've always been a fan of short verses. The title is a good one, its clear simple, and sets the poem up. Although i don't think the poem is a metaphor because you are specifically explaining the actual actions of loving someone and not telling them. But I really did enjoy it.
 
PoeticAtheist said...
Sept. 18, 2015 at 7:09 pm
Calum, thank you so much for posting this. I loved the structure and imagery that you brought to the piece.
 
Darius_Nobles said...
Sept. 14, 2015 at 10:32 am
TeenInk.com/users/Darius_Nobles Please Leave Constructive Criticism, There's always room for improvement. Thanks Enjoy.
 
ConsalvatorThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 21, 2015 at 11:22 pm
This is a beautiful piece, and the subtle metaphor behind it was breathtaking. Excellent work!
 
KittyKat1419 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 19, 2015 at 6:46 pm
I really like this:) you have talent
 
BlanishCoffee said...
Jul. 30, 2015 at 11:59 am
I LOVE IT SO MUCH! honestly an amazing poem, the flow.
 
alaina_h said...
Jul. 4, 2015 at 8:19 pm
Wow, one of, if not the most moving poems I've read on here. I'm a sucker for a good rhyme scheme and you literally nailed it. Would lovvve if you could give me some feedback on one of my poems! TeenInk.com/poetry/free_verse/article/806765/A-Daughters-Sorrow/
 
KatyainiThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 28, 2015 at 7:54 am
Loved it......... but the last line made me think myself...... you see yourself in your lover's eyes. So if you see his/her fault, is it him/her or you yourself. Sorry, I know this is confusing but still.... you know what I mean.
 
Calum replied...
Jun. 28, 2015 at 1:37 pm
This poem is a metaphor for loving someone and not knowing how to tell them. You constantly stare at them and you know it can never happen. At the end, what I mean is that I've realized it might not be her keeping us from getting into a relationship, it's me.
 
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