Nice Guys

The hands of time point at me...
How long has it been since you've seen me?
Months ago, in that little cafe,
Now it seems like you're avoiding me.
Where are you? Where's your heart?
Thought I knew where, but I'm falling apart
Without you. Within you, there is an endless sea,
You've gotten in your boat and aimed far away from me.
Why'd you leave me on the shore
Screaming out? Honestly, what for?
The echo of your tenor reverberates in my mind.
"I'm the nice guy", you'd say...
But you left me behind.






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PoeticAtheist said...
Aug. 16, 2015 at 4:56 pm
Well...This poem can be summed up in comparison. It makes me feel as if I am repeatedly climbing up and down mount Everest. All in all, It is a beautiful poem, but I have to agree with @alaina_h and @Luv4Ever. Think about mount Everest. The view on top is spectacular, but the viewers are distracted by the lack of oxygen, which makes your breath...choppy. Didi this make any sense?
 
alaina_h said...
Jul. 4, 2015 at 8:09 pm
Wow, I really like this. Usually I subconsciously skip to the "interesting" parts of poems, but I found myself hanging on to every word. If I haddd to give some sort of constructive criticism, I would watch your rhythm. Great poem!
 
Luv4Ever said...
Jun. 7, 2015 at 11:33 am
I love the feeling behind this piece and what it coveys. however i feel the tempo of the rhythm distracts the reader from the beauty of the poem. I still enjoyed this piece though ^^
 
ThePoeticJustice said...
May 21, 2015 at 4:56 pm
OH my god, how I cam relate to this one XD ooh lord. Why do they say that nice guys finish last? I have no idea, but it raises a feeling of loneliness inside. Geez. It's a great poem, a bit shorter than I'm used, but everyone has their own styles :) I like it, it's relatable, keep writing
 
CrackedGlass_IDidItThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 18, 2015 at 7:43 am
Correction: this is based off of I've Seen the Truth, not Not My Fault.
 
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