Dreamland | Teen Ink

Dreamland

April 19, 2015
By EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments

I walked past traps and cages,
Containing a monster that constantly rages,
Followed by you, who in my chaos has peace's part.

You think you want to love me,
But maybe you've just failed to see,
It's a long and dangerous maze to my heart.

The walls are made of shattered glass,
Oh but the pain won't last,
Let me hold your bleeding hands.

Tiptoe through the dark nights,
Follow the shadowed lights,
I'll show you my dreamland.

Creatures spawned from blackness,
Rivers made from all of my sins,
Contained within my mind.

No one will hear your cries,
So scream to my stormy skies,
By wanting to love me this is what you'll find.

Do you hear that sad slow song,
The one that plays all night long,
The song my mourning angels sing?

Now that you've seen my scars,
And seen that my night sky has no stars,
Do you still want to take me under your wing?

My darkness has a certain beauty,
One that I hope you can come to see,
A beauty that I'll show you in my dreamland.

You can see rubies and emeralds from the smiles in my past,
and pearls and diamonds for always finishing the race last,
The race to reach the end of my ghost's hell.

There are waterfalls and oceans of happy memories,
Polluted and diluted by the night's siege,
A place where all my hopes drowned and fell.

Explore my lush and vibrant green forests, but look out!
There are monsters lurking along that route,
But that is the path I was forced to take.

And finally there's a castle near the sea,
Built from all the rocks and bricks that were thrown at me,
That took me years and years to make.

This castle by the sea,
Is where at the end of the day you'll meet me,
After I've shown you my dreamland.

Now I'll take my throne as Queen,
As ruler over all the darkness and beauty that you've seen,
In my castle,
My tomb,
With you by my side,
At the seaside.


The author's comments:

Based off of my mind and past


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This article has 11 comments.


on Mar. 18 2016 at 4:29 pm
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments
Thank you!!

on Mar. 18 2016 at 1:57 am
I_Love_To_Write BRONZE, New Delhi, Other
1 article 0 photos 11 comments
I like your rhyme scheme. Despite the slight variations involved, it doesn't seem very forced. Keep up the good work!

on Mar. 17 2016 at 1:15 pm
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments
Thanks!!!!!

on Mar. 17 2016 at 1:15 pm
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments
Wow thank you so much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

on Mar. 17 2016 at 1:14 pm
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments
Thank you so much!! That really does mean a lot to me

Calum SILVER said...
on Sep. 17 2015 at 9:44 pm
Calum SILVER, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
7 articles 0 photos 25 comments
This is really good. I normally don't like poetry that mixes in rhyming so much, but you nailed it as good as I've seen on TI.

on Jun. 5 2015 at 1:40 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

This honestly reminds me of a very dark version of Alice in Wonderland. Very well written, nice rhyme where it occurs, and good use of metaphor. You're a very good poet, and I hope you continue writing for a long time.

NOIZTHIMS GOLD said...
on May. 26 2015 at 5:48 pm
NOIZTHIMS GOLD, South Jordan, Utah
15 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If your eyes could speak, what... what would they say?" -Max (from "The Book Thief")

I really like your imagery, but you need to get a better hold of your rhyming patterns because they're all over the place. I also realize that you were focusing mostly on the imagery, but you need to realize that for the reader's focus to be on imagery, and meaning: the meter and line structure needs to be flawless. As writers we forget this a lot. Naturally, people will notice when the meter is off, even if they don't care at all. It makes it difficult to read. However, I really love the way you bring emotion into your work, it's very personal and honest.

on May. 25 2015 at 7:26 pm
EvalynnHeather GOLD, Clemmons, North Carolina
16 articles 4 photos 64 comments
Thank you so much!! :) I'll. e sure to check out some of your work

Katten7 GOLD said...
on May. 25 2015 at 4:09 pm
Katten7 GOLD, North Richland Hills, Texas
12 articles 1 photo 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"If you live like a child to the world, you live in the world of a child" ~Me! ya ya whatever.

GLOB DANG NABBIT NOOOOO!!!! I FOUND A BETTER POET THAN ME!!!! *sobs* YOU'RE AMAZING!!! I loved the imagery, I'm a big fan of incorporating it myself. great job!

on May. 24 2015 at 11:09 pm
Consalvator BRONZE, South Jordan, Utah
1 article 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

LOVE the imagery. Usually poems this long I zone out about half way, but with yours I found myself more drawn in at the half way point wondering what was next. I saw the world you constructed. Beautiful. My favorite line was "My darkness has a certain beauty".


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