Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

January 28, 2009
More by this author
She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

Join the Discussion

This article has 276 comments. Post your own now!

demetria said...
May 27, 2010 at 5:38 pm
stop trying to sound "overly smart." all of the big words are not necessary. focus on getting the point across because i can honestly say that this makes no sense. (in my opinion) the words just took away from the content.
GangstaEyes This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 2, 2010 at 11:24 am
I strongly disagree with demetria, no offense intended. The big words you use don't make you seem to be "trying to sound overly smart" - they add to the poem in a positive way. I love your calm response to the girl's fury and the witty facts and details you slip into your lines. Great work - keep it up and if you get a chance, check out my work? Thanks!
blankpages12 replied...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 5:55 am
no the words are everything in this poem without them it would just be typical but with them its extraordinary.. i mean like in line two sure they could have just said of her coming anger..but how blah would that have been instead they thought it out an put an aggressive word  in there like vermilion and rage..and they are not big words there is no such thing it is simply a word , and you compare it to a "big" word because you don't understand its meaning..the words make... (more »)
abetterme replied...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm
okay so all of you disagree with me and you are all telling me that i am wrong but the other girl before me can say that "this sucks" and you don't say anything to her?? you all are twisted and you make no sense. if anything you should try and talk to the ppl who are negative. i never said that this poem "sucked" i just left my opinion. so think what you want to think but before you tell me that i am wrong look at other ppl being negative and say something to them. once you have said something t... (more »)
xXBrokenxNightmareXx replied...
Oct. 4, 2010 at 10:41 am
Well....If you think about it you were being negative in a way....And they were just simply stating THEIR oppinion sooo....You don't really have the right to take and say anything to them....They saw what you put they added somthing woohoo get over it.....Thats just MY oppinion....
twilight-mama2013 said...
May 25, 2010 at 9:20 am
that was an awesome poem! i loved the storyline and i can really relate to this poem quite eaisly. thank you and keep up the good work.
Poet_in_Motion This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 17, 2010 at 6:52 pm
Fabulous work! Keep writing; you have a real talent for it. :)
Ashee97 said...
May 17, 2010 at 6:09 pm
wow, great piece! this is really funny but yet it gets your point across all at the same time. i like writers who can keep the reader entertained, and you certianly did so. keep writing some more poems, youre doing great! :) VERY well done.
Lost-In-Life said...
May 17, 2010 at 4:51 pm
Wow! I think this is amazing. I could completely follow what you were getting at and it was written so well! Love it! Write more!
iknowyourheart said...
May 17, 2010 at 4:29 pm
I can't relate, but i looove its storyline! 
Kay4theRoses said...
May 17, 2010 at 1:34 pm
it doesnt sound like u went threw that personally, its awesome all the same.
^unshed.tears said...
May 17, 2010 at 11:51 am
this is soooo funny!! lol i love it! please keep writing!
halfasianpersuasion said...
May 17, 2010 at 11:25 am
poor little fishies!!! lol so funny. its like while she is all worked up and angry, he stays so calm. so glad i've never dated someone with an anger problem like that! lol
azskater said...
May 17, 2010 at 7:33 am
meow meow meow meow meow meow mix meow mix
Ashee97 replied...
May 17, 2010 at 6:07 pm
wow, random! you and me would be great friends! lol
azskater said...
May 17, 2010 at 7:30 am



Bk2010 said...
Apr. 28, 2010 at 6:43 pm
very nice writing. :) i like.
hollypolly:D replied...
Sept. 26, 2010 at 7:25 pm
i dont really get it, like, at ALL!!! no offense, tho. and good job.... i guess
addicted2candy said...
Apr. 26, 2010 at 6:54 pm
LOVE IT! You managed to be funny and witty all while capturing the essance of a fight between lovers. Dont EVER stop writing. lol good job
krazeecasey13 said...
Apr. 25, 2010 at 8:05 pm
this is awesome! i love the color words =]
LeilaniLives said...
Apr. 25, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Very creative! I love the meloncholy presense you brought into the piece. The sadistic truth behind this is almost looked through as your details create laughter building up inside the reader. Very nice.
Site Feedback