Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

January 28, 2009
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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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This article has 276 comments. Post your own now!

gUnNa-B-fAmOuZ said...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 2:41 pm
luv it very well written an descriptive
Syarra_Greenwood said...
Aug. 13, 2010 at 10:29 am

very very good work. it made me laugh in a few parts but it deffinetly got the point across well. keep up the good work.


and maybe you could check out some of my stuff

SilverLuna said...
Jul. 27, 2010 at 7:31 pm

Haha, I don't know if the intension was leaning towards the comedic persuasion, but the inner monolauging consisting of (safe up to 450* and  Save the Fishes!) created a lovely between the heat if her anger and the weight of emotions. Great job! I really enjoyed it!

Could you read some of my work?

BaileyBaby13 said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 11:22 pm

I laughed, I cried.

But really, this is amazing! Awesome job, NEVER stop writing,(:

Faspitch317 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 8:29 pm
WOW! Very, very well done. This is written thoughtfully and has mature style. I would not have found it out of place in a published collection of poems. You have humor and creativity to spare :)
xovanillatwilightxo This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Amazing! I really enjoyed the imagery and how it was a very action-packed scene. =] You're a fabulous writer ! (also anyone who sees this please check out my work)
Macx14 said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 1:53 pm
Brilliant and very well written!!
blankpages12 said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 5:51 am
 i adore this.. it is just amazing and the incredible use of vocabulary adds a nice touch to the poem. it seems like it just wouldn't be what it is without those words and you did an amazing job of piecing them together. further more i was truly amazed when i saw the author was a female, just the way she put herself in the boys part and wrote this poem..i can almost imagine watching it play out on stage. just amazing taking on a males point of view=]
Trebled said...
Jul. 22, 2010 at 12:08 am
I adore this. If anything, the vocabulary adds to the quirky feel. Beautiful.
Allison274 said...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 7:46 pm
This was amazing, some words confused me since I don't have the best vocabulary, but either way it was incredible.
Vanzetti said...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 2:09 pm
Amazing. So poignant.
LeslieAnn said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 4:29 pm
I actually really enjoyed this piece.  The fact that the narrator was so relaxed while the woman was going a little over board really made for an interesting contrast.  I disagree with those who say the vocabulary took away from the content, I think it was very well done.
okinawagirl said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 3:17 pm

Don't listen to the crazy people who don't get it.  I got it and LOVED it, very well writen.


(check out my work please :)  )

niesh13 said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 2:58 pm
could sumbody help me out.? i dnt really get i
ashee v. said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 2:44 pm
This was really well done. Though I would perhaps search for a theme to follow throughout the poem. By the way your writting reminds me of Anne Sexton :)
Gringoz said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 1:48 pm
its very constructive but it makes no sense and means really nothing
Jennie B. said...
Jun. 8, 2010 at 5:24 am
This was very well written.  I really like the title; it made me want to check out the poem.  You have a wonderful voice here, and the narrator is very relaxed.  Huge contrast there with the physco on the other end, which I like a lot.  Overall, you did a fantastic job, and your vocabulary makes me smile!
demetria said...
May 27, 2010 at 5:38 pm
stop trying to sound "overly smart." all of the big words are not necessary. focus on getting the point across because i can honestly say that this makes no sense. (in my opinion) the words just took away from the content.
Kiersten replied...
Jun. 1, 2010 at 8:25 pm

i think the author isn't trying to be smart... i think the big words don't take away from the poem... i think they make you think more about what you're reading, and i like that... i like poetry that obvious, but most times i like to be thinking about what i read...

good job, i like how you added aside thoughts... it was really good... :)

Fieldsofwind replied...
Jun. 30, 2010 at 10:22 pm

I really don't think the author is attempting to sound "overly smart". I think that he has a genuinely developed vocabulary and is using it without even putting thought into it. Poems like this are especial gems because they offer proper usage of the words at hand and also let people learn.

"Getting the point across" is often not even the aim of poems such as these, it is weaving a story with brilliant style, which was done here.

To those able to make sense of it, this poem is p... (more »)

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