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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 275 comments. Post your own!

Fizza_98 said...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 1:45 am:
this one's more like a story than poetry but nice work. :)
 
tionashaylaR replied...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 4:21 pm :
im pretty sure a poem tells a story... there are different types of poetry, so yeah this is a poem... or she wouldnt have put it under poetry. 
 
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green_eyes17 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 4, 2011 at 4:34 pm:
Delightful. 
 
k2bebi18 replied...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 3:52 pm :
i love this.
 
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AlaskaFrost This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 9:51 pm:
This is a really good poem! It's hard to mix humor with an issue like this one, but you managed to pull it off!! Great job!!
 
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LazyDaisyLovesYou said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 11:43 pm:
I love it! That girl sounds...really hard to be with.
 
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Incitata said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 6:49 pm:
Oh my gosh.  This is astounding, fantastic, phenomenal.  Your imagery is delightful.  Your comments about the toaster are hilarious.  Your parenthetical notations are accurate and witty.  Best of all, she sounds legitmately scary.  Poor fish!
 
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consumedbygrace247 said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 9:04 am:
This is WONDERFUL the language and the way it is put together is just spectacular. Great Job! 5 stars!
 
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Ayme S. said...
Aug. 18, 2011 at 10:31 am:
This is good!!! really!
 
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katy321 said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 11:10 pm:
Desperate much?
 
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Alexandrathepoet This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 9:17 pm:
this poem emotes such feeling, the words are powerful, its like you're stomping with words, each and every one making me want to read more. the ending was crisp and pristene, perfect, simply perfect.
 
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purplequeen said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 9:32 am:
Great Job! Can you guys comment on my work??? Please! if you do, I will comment on yours. So comment on mine right now!!! They are really good.Comment on mine!!
 
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HaleyBells said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 2:22 am:
Such a wonderful poem! Humour mixed in with sincerity. Great job.
 
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Schubster said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 9:03 pm:

"the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms."

^^ I read that line aloud and my mom thought I was serious XD lol awesome poem though. The humor is fantastic.

 
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Sunset_on_tomorrow said...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 4:29 pm:
I love this poem! The humor in it is perfectly balenced with the emotion, and I love your word choice! It was very unique!
 
DisicpleofChristandJesusEnthusiast replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 5:33 pm :
I ABSOLUTELY AGREE! AMAZING!!!!
 
Carwen replied...
Jun. 17, 2011 at 6:26 pm :
I couldn't have said it better.
 
Dia.dreamer replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 9:33 am :
Me too!!! You READ MY MIND!!!! Unique word use was the first thing that popped into my mind!!! Humourous and touching!!
 
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hungergames_love said...
May 26, 2011 at 10:02 pm:
I feel like you're trying a bit too hard. It's a very entertaining poem (and I love your sense of humor) but I think that some of the words you used were unnecesary and just cluttered it up.
 
Mudder_Hacky replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 4:59 am :
agreed.   
 
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