Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

January 28, 2009
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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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KittKat1119 said...
Mar. 9, 2009 at 12:45 pm
This poem is awezome i love it itz intresting
cugo chara replied...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 4:12 pm
jasmine123 said...
Mar. 8, 2009 at 6:26 pm
wow this peom is very good love it!!i write peoms almost like this but mine are usually sad!!
Christina This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 4, 2009 at 12:35 pm
This is a very cool poem. There's awesome sarcasm here, and very good vocabulary to describe the emotions.
kissingdawn331 said...
Mar. 3, 2009 at 8:08 pm
very descriptive ..gosh sometimes life just sux. sometimes people suck
drama said...
Feb. 28, 2009 at 1:33 am
this is a very descriptive and it made me think about how mean people can be.
Rebecca A. said...
Feb. 21, 2009 at 11:46 pm
I really like this. Prose poetry is probably my favorite thing in the world. It takes forever to get the guts to stand up and just say something, without rhyme but with a haunting, awesome emotion behind it. Your poem made this seem like just another facet of life, like making breakfast. I loved the way it ended. However, I think some more emotion needs to be involved. It seems like you're trying to make something sad humorous. That's great! But it would be nice if you could show how hard ... (more »)
JillianHale said...
Feb. 21, 2009 at 10:00 pm
hey, I think that your writing is very fun and interesting. It flowed very well and I wish there were more poems like this one. Very Good. Well done.
As an aspiring writer I'd deeply appreciate if you could check out my work as well :]




more »)
Hannahbear replied...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 12:44 pm
this was so good! lol i loved it :D
oruga101 said...
Feb. 21, 2009 at 6:39 am
Your poem used uncommon words. It didn't really seem like a poem to me. More like prose that had been broken into shorted lines.
mah4angel said...
Feb. 18, 2009 at 11:26 pm
I love this. It flows together in a thoughtful, elegant manner. You're a great writer, and to be able to describe such an agressive scene in such a calm, cool, and collected manner is impressive. Very very very good : ]
CarlieCupcake said...
Feb. 17, 2009 at 3:16 am
1) This is SOOOO something I would do..
the throwing of the toaster, I mean...

2) Beautiful :] I agree with HopelessWritter... The tidbits are very fun ;D
iWrite_ said...
Feb. 11, 2009 at 4:32 am
Intriguing [
mz. wonderful said...
Feb. 9, 2009 at 9:41 pm
i really like this poem. this is a interstiing poem. but all i have to say is your right about your title
HopelessWritter said...
Feb. 3, 2009 at 1:17 am
Amazing. Beautiful. I cant even say words. your good. If my english teacher read this she would be amazed. Im amazed. I love it. The scene keeps replaying in my head. I love how you add things like "safe to 450 F" just those little tidbits tie it together!!!
JustSubmitting said...
Feb. 2, 2009 at 12:32 am
I really like it. Very descriptive. It's interesting.
Toran replied...
Feb. 14, 2012 at 8:39 am
I really loved this. I liked the flow of it and all these thoughts running through the guy's head. Most of which, were quite comical. :)
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