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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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This article has 275 comments. Post your own!

Katrina O. said...
May 9, 2009 at 3:23 pm:
It actually held my interest the whole way through. Very descriptive, i felt like i was there.
 
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dancechik said...
May 7, 2009 at 1:26 pm:
loved it. awesome.
 
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snc947 said...
May 5, 2009 at 8:25 pm:
OMgosh! I LOVE IT!!!
 
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Kumang said...
Apr. 27, 2009 at 8:52 am:
:-)
 
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HannahW This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 23, 2009 at 8:57 pm:
"unfailing inaccuracy"

best line. i love the irony. keep writing!
 
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cross-i'd-leopard said...
Apr. 16, 2009 at 12:44 am:
that was prety good, i liked how u portray the husbands tactlesness through the kitchen equipment. BUt i think u should stp trying to throw in some many vocab. words, it almost distracts from the poem. but it was still pretty good. :)
 
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meredith P. said...
Apr. 11, 2009 at 10:15 pm:
AWESOMENESS!!!!!
 
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francheeze88 said...
Apr. 4, 2009 at 2:44 am:
Wow by the time I figured out what this was about I was crying. Its beautiful.
 
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SarahNearol said...
Apr. 3, 2009 at 1:52 am:
This was great. I had to read it twice to get the comedy and the feeling of anger, sadness, and all the other feelings I can't really... well.... describe. It was one of the best poems I've seen yet!!!
Terrific job! Keep writing!
 
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pandabearrr said...
Apr. 1, 2009 at 2:11 am:
i liked how this poem was written from a different perspecitive then most. it was a lot more fun to read then just plain ones
 
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Xilaberry said...
Mar. 31, 2009 at 3:35 am:
This reminds me somewhat of the first several chapters of Eragon in that you are a teenage writer with a large vocabulary and a thirst to prove yourself, and you're writing in a a way that feels unnatural and cramped even as you spill out fancy word after fancy word. My advice would be to write more as you would speak. Put away the thesaurus and focus on your ideas.
 
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Rebecca24 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 29, 2009 at 6:26 am:
I love the use of kitchenware. Great work!
 
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CloudedCrystal said...
Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:30 am:
Read it. Loved it. And read it again. U r a writer 4 real.
 
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ckalani said...
Mar. 29, 2009 at 1:26 am:
That was very good, great! You have a great talet for poetry! Tell me what you think of my work.
 
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Porsha C. said...
Mar. 28, 2009 at 11:31 pm:
Oh good gosh,

I love it.

I truly do just adore this poem. It has sentimental feel and embracing imagery. Lost me for a slight moent but then I connected the pieces ;] I really do love your writing but this one seems to come straight from the heart. Nothing is better than words from the soul my dear. Nothing. And this,...you've got talent =) You'll go far.
 
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Jordon said...
Mar. 28, 2009 at 12:41 pm:
Totally awesome. Keep on writing. :)
 
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Strawberry This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 25, 2009 at 12:35 am:
this is a great poem! keep up the good work, but why would you still hang out with this person if they act this way? oh well, good work anyway!!!
 
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lovesscola04 said...
Mar. 16, 2009 at 5:50 am:
Great job, Megan. I loved your word choice and despcription, particularly this word, "defenestration." I totally just learned a new word. Good job. I really enjoyed this poem. Such a light hearted attempt on a meaningful topic... sort of. :D I enjoy when poems have dialogue.
 
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KittKat1119 said...
Mar. 9, 2009 at 12:45 pm:
This poem is awezome i love it itz intresting
 
cugo chara replied...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 4:12 pm :
awsome!coolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
 
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