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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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babybunny94 said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 5:48 pm:
i kinda thought it was sad...
 
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shywriter said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 3:47 am:
lol. that was a really funny poem! I love your sarcasm and how you describe her rage. and SAVE THE FISHES!! =P
 
hellogirl replied...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 11:33 am :
yeah I know I love this poem also especially the part were she says to save the fishes and then she gets angry because the other person did not hear to get them out.
 
sasssgirrrl22 replied...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm :
lol i luv this poem! i agree wit shy & hellogirl. gr8 descriptionz & sarcasm
 
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Like*Whoa!!! This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 8, 2009 at 8:27 pm:
i like how this situation is meant to be deppressing (she's leaving!) but the dude has a bzillion other thoughts going through his head, "save the fishes!" and i LOVELOVELOVE his sarcasm "oh dear, how will i ever create exquisite frozen waffle dinners?" AMAZING job,
120000 out of 10
<3
 
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.xCutMyLifeIntoPiecesx. said...
Nov. 27, 2009 at 6:37 pm:
I really like this piece! Your description is untainted, it's great! I particularly like the how you describe her "unfailing inaccuracy." It's got such a deeper meaning than most realize. This poem kind of reminds me of the some "Get Happy" by Bowling for Soup, only much, much more in-depth and it really makes you think. It's great, keep writing! :)
 
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starsonmysleeves This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 22, 2009 at 10:25 pm:
it seems like you're removed from her emotion in the fight, what with you talking about "your breakfast cookware of choice" and other funny phrases. like you refuse to take her anger seriously. is that what you were going for? do you then realize the seriousness of the situation in the last 3 lines? very interesting. well done.
 
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KonyaB!!! This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 22, 2009 at 7:01 pm:
Very vivid...I liked it a lot. Real relationships sometimes do end like that, don't they.
Really good work, very real life, and it portrays all the emotions that you feel in every line. Can you please check out my work? COmments and stuff would be helpful too! :)
 
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FadetoFluorescent This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 22, 2009 at 4:19 pm:
Wow. Simply fantastic!
Visual and a rich mix of emotions you feel when in that position.
Very real, very well written. Awesome job C:
 
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Zero_K This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Nov. 15, 2009 at 6:04 pm:
Those poor fishes! Great poem.
-Blessed Be!
+++ZERO+++
 
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Castrol said...
Nov. 6, 2009 at 10:54 am:
Dang that was really powerful. I liked it. The word usage was great and the story it tells is a good one. Great job.
 
jeanines replied...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 7:58 am :
wow anything can get in the magazine these days! wow you really thought it was good, WOW
 
CASTROLmatt replied...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 2:44 pm :
Man, why would you even sat anything like that? Don't be jealous.
 
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Annika said...
Oct. 31, 2009 at 6:29 pm:
that was good. loved the fishes and the toaster. is the word describing her eyes 'cyan' or a misspell?
 
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julliette said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 11:41 pm:
gotta say that i loved the save the fishes, that was cute.
 
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Baninabean This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 11:22 pm:
It may be short, but it's amazingly well written! Fantastic!!!
 
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Dead&Broken said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 7:13 pm:
This was so cool. It was funny and cute. ^-^
Sono choushi!
 
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snc947 said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 12:33 pm:
wow. I absolutely loved this poem. It is now one of my favorites! :) KEEP WRITING!!! lol.
 
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Aro_To_The_Heart This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 10:46 am:
Wow. This is...amazing to say the least. It's a meld of all the emotions put together. It accurately depicts a relationship in it's degradation and yet adds a little tinge of humor at the same time. A great piece of poetical genius which I would like to applaud. I absolutely love it. Keep the ink flowing in the old mental tablet.
 
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SickImage said...
Oct. 9, 2009 at 10:04 am:
Lol this is awesome.
It reminds me of my brother's relationship.
His woman is evil and no matter how mean she is to my brother he always just trys to smile and tease and get along.
But everyone knows it actually hurts on the inside.
:] great stuff
 
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