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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.





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twiwrite said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 2:21 pm:
i agree with andthisisreal. it is a very witty poem. i loved it!
 
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AndThisIsReal This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 18, 2010 at 10:37 am:
This is definately witty, although this poem is sprinkled with pain and loss, you were still able to make it entertaining.
 
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tjcreative said...
Feb. 16, 2010 at 10:18 am:
Beautiful imagery and I love how witty the whole thing is. The speaker's personality really comes through.
 
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BlackMoonWhiteSky This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 11, 2010 at 12:39 pm:
This is really awesome, I just love it.
 
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PeaveLoveMe(: said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 7:55 pm:
amazing! would love for everyone to check out my work as well!!! keep writng!!!! :))
 
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Alpha-Lyrae said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 7:21 pm:
Das amazing! I absolutely LOVE how it's written, it has such a readable quality. Brilliancy!
 
CoolBreeze This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 11, 2010 at 8:52 pm :
Keep up the good work. I love the humor
 
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LuLu95 said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 5:46 pm:
this was really good i loved it!! I want everyone to check out some of my work! thanks :)
 
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Shirley_R said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 9:20 am:
Hi, I really liked this! And I LOVED the fishes and waffle lines! My work JUST got through the pending phase, and am still waiting to see if they are mag material.
 
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Emmalee This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 27, 2010 at 7:47 am:
Wonderful. :)
 
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~♪Gecko♫~ said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 9:18 pm:
This is really great!! Well done! I loved the "Save the fishes" and the "waffle Dinners" lines! =)
 
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fall_from_grace said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 7:00 pm:
Haha. I honestly laughed out loud at the save the fishes line. I adore it.
 
Melissa G. replied...
Jan. 26, 2010 at 2:47 pm :
i liked your comment
 
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j-rye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 4:02 pm:
I really like this. could you please read some of my poems? theyre not posted on here yet, but I've put them up on my blog! http ://www.jryesblog.blogspot .com /
 
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nicolekelliher133 said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 12:13 pm:
i love how casual the tone is. nice contrast to the action actually occuring in the poem.
 
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dragons333 said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 8:23 am:
great poem, i like it!!!
 
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Allegria-Starling said...
Jan. 5, 2010 at 6:07 am:
Funny. No need to say any more... I like it!
 
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kittkattbarr said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 10:41 pm:
its good something different. try mine, although I doubt you will get this far down in the comments but if you do tell me what you think.
 
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wArm_FuZzies said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 8:13 pm:
I like all the humorous parenthesis. It sort of makes you lighten up on such a dark topic.
 
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Stephaniere This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 14, 2009 at 7:37 pm:
Oh wow,... this is amazing. My heart hurts reading this because I've been threw something a tad bit similar the way you word this just makes you not want to stop, makes the reader want to keep reading and learn what will happen next, what she will fling at him next. Amazing keep up the work!
 
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