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Our Relationship Would Be Easier If You Could Just Play Nice This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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She emitted a snarl that warned
of her vermilion rage,
and seized the shiny, silver toaster
(my breakfast cookware of choice)
and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.
Oh dear, how will I ever create
exquisite frozen waffle dinners?
In one gnashing breath, she shrieked
and launched a rocket full of profanities
my way while simultaneously dumping
(with excessive grace) my gleaming
toaster into our saltwater aquarium.
Save the fishes!
You’re not listening to me, are you?
No, not really. I know better.
Your words lose all sense of direction
when you are worked up like this, my dear.
Her cyan eyes flashed another warning –
the Doppler radar is forecasting severe storms.
Be prepared for anything, brace yourself.
I attempted to pacify the raging tempest; still
she captured some large wooden spoons
and red rubber spatulas (safe to 450°F)
(among other blameless bystanders to our fight)
and hurled them with unfailing inaccuracy.
With a splashing slap to my face, she snatched
her keys from the counter and with a BANG
stormed from our apartment for the last time.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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This article has 275 comments. Post your own!

CelebrateDifferencesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 13 at 6:23 pm:
Humorous and intelligently written. HAHA the words literally dance.
 
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CyprisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 19, 2013 at 12:11 pm:
Man, is it a true story?
 
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SoImAWriterNow said...
Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:32 pm:
I LOVE YOUR DESCRIPTIONS. It puts a whole different spin on thus. If you described certain parts in an ordinary way, it would've been much less interesting. But this, my dear, is EXTRAordinary and you must be too :)
 
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Emily_Greene said...
Oct. 13, 2012 at 8:26 pm:
I understand why this is top voted. Great job. 5/5
 
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M.Kelly said...
Sept. 20, 2012 at 6:00 pm:
The story is heart breaking considering the fact that the girl fights her way out of the guys life...this must mean that the girl really did care.....  
 
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Basya44 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 30, 2012 at 11:25 pm:
Nice job. Very Original! I like the random details- makes it different...I would love to hear your feedback on my own poetry. It's a little bit strange but I have a feeling you would understand. Thanks for sharing:)
 
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AngelBaby said...
Aug. 8, 2012 at 7:49 am:
I love your word choice and extended vocabulary.You sound intelligent.You portray a feeling within your poem that when read the reader should feel .Ieally like it and think you did a fantastic job :)
 
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AndresV This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 3, 2012 at 3:23 pm:
this is really, really good
 
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HopingForMyAngel said...
May 12, 2012 at 10:21 am:
WOW! amazing
 
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Shortty1314 said...
Apr. 24, 2012 at 3:34 pm:
wow, is all i can say (:
 
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alphabet.soup said...
Apr. 20, 2012 at 3:47 am:
this poem is awesomesauce! 
 
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Lola_Black said...
Apr. 3, 2012 at 6:34 pm:
Ha! I liked it! Good word choice and voice. You definately get the feeling that this has happened many times before. Nice job! Now, if you don't mind reading some of my stuff? Thanks :)
 
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KateLA said...
Mar. 29, 2012 at 9:30 pm:

'and brandished it above her head
with threats of defenestration.'

Great word choice, I love it! ;-)

 
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pipiphurray said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 8:12 pm:
This is beautiful, it has a different feeling than most poetry, a story told almost light hearted yet the subject is heavy. The antithesis of it is unarming and gorgeous.
 
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AaAaAaA said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 7:08 pm:
 love how desciptive it is :)
 
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dreamshakerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 7, 2012 at 4:26 pm:

i loved this :)

it was simply fantastic - i loved the creativity and the humor of it. amazing!

 
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C.A.WaltThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 14, 2012 at 8:46 am:
omg!!! this is an amazing peice. i love the way you symbolized women as fierce and you as homely(by use of kitchenware)=)great job!!
 
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hunterxonicole said...
Jan. 23, 2012 at 7:39 pm:
These cool details you put in here make this disturbing yet compulsively readable...the type of story you can't just stop reading in the middle.. love it!!! and it sends a message: girls are fierce, don't mess with them.
 
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Lletya said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm:
It made me sad, but that's just because I hate the end of relationships. But its a great piece of writing. Lovely job, i like the flow and everything
 
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Blairezie said...
Jan. 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm:
The title really added to the work, I think. I liked the playful, uncaring tone to the whole thing. It put the situation in a new light.
 
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