Knowing Nothing of This ’Til Then | Teen Ink

Knowing Nothing of This ’Til Then MAG

January 28, 2009
By Edye Pucciarelli SILVER, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Edye Pucciarelli SILVER, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
8 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I was younger then, but only by months.
Curiosity settled unbearably throughout my limbs
And I waited
Patiently for you to carry yourself down wooden stairs
Rightleftright – my ear against olive-colored carpet
To make sure that coast was clear
Hands resting on hinge of drawer and pulling
I reached inside, ransacked and shifted through its contents
And uncovered your thoughts in journal form (success)
I remembered then how embarrassment
Burnt my cheeks red
Everything you said when you found the
Monster I had hidden in the sheets beneath my bed
And I recalled your tears
The shape your body took, fetally curled
With your knees against your chest
You wept endlessly.
Fearing flood or revenge
I tossed and turned that night, grasping the fact
That I had failed you and again –
When I opened that leather cover and divulged
Your evenly spaced print to my eyes and that entry
I had watched you record on blue printed lines
Night prior, before dark, before saying
“Sharpen this, please!” in an angry tone
From across the hall and again –
With a clean-cut graphite tip you wrote
“October twenty-second …”
In the uppermost corner and proceeded with
“My Journal, I have never felt so alone …”



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This article has 285 comments.


on Sep. 7 2010 at 2:51 pm
pinkypromise23 PLATINUM, Cranston, Rhode Island
30 articles 0 photos 414 comments

Favorite Quote:
i know that you believe you understand what you think i said, but im not sure you realize that what you heard is not what i meant.

i had to read it a couple times to understand it...but it was really good(: 5 stars(:

on Sep. 7 2010 at 1:42 pm
llamachick PLATINUM, Seneca, South Carolina
42 articles 3 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
— Marilyn Monroe

its very touching,i have a younger sis so i will have to watch out for that!

on Sep. 7 2010 at 10:25 am
Randhill BRONZE, Hanoi, Other
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

A really great poem. I, myself also sneaked onto my sister's diary once and well, yeah I know how it feels(was never caught though).

Thanks for this piece of writing :)


on Aug. 16 2010 at 9:15 pm
Amsterdamsel DIAMOND, Henderson , Nevada
54 articles 2 photos 69 comments
i cant really understand some of it.. but i get the jist. its deep. good job(:

on Aug. 16 2010 at 3:46 pm
Natherine PLATINUM, Lawrence, Massachusetts
33 articles 4 photos 30 comments

Favorite Quote:
"everything happens for a a reason "

i love thiss itss deep. i dont really know what yuhr talking baout but thats why ilike it :) check out my work and giv me some feed bak thankss (:

gaby23 SILVER said...
on Aug. 16 2010 at 12:41 pm
gaby23 SILVER, Larkspur, California
7 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore."
~Christopher Columbus

when i read this poem there was almost a fear in each word and the way you can capture that emotion means that you are really talented...! great job, i really admire the work you did

on Aug. 16 2010 at 11:18 am
SuicidalDreamer.. PLATINUM, Marshall, Illinois
31 articles 0 photos 52 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Drop The World....." Or "Everything Happens For A Reason....." Or "I am jealous of every woman that has ever hugged him, Cause for that mere second. They held my entire world."

This is an amazing poem and I love it! I hope to see another one from you that is just as amazing or better!!! :D

on Aug. 16 2010 at 8:54 am
Aqua90210 BRONZE, Elyria, Ohio
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
A Shattered Dream is a far off memorie a far of memorie is a shaddered dream

I though it was  really good

on Jul. 25 2010 at 8:50 pm
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
52 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I realize that life is risks. It's acknowledging the past but looking forward. It's taking chances that we will make mistakes but believeing we all deserve to be forgiven."
-The Dead Tossed Waves.

i meant "Blistered fingers". typo-my bad. lol

on Jul. 25 2010 at 8:48 pm
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
52 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I realize that life is risks. It's acknowledging the past but looking forward. It's taking chances that we will make mistakes but believeing we all deserve to be forgiven."
-The Dead Tossed Waves.

I had to read it twice. But I often find that with some of the more meaningful and complex poetry does that to you:) VERY nice work, and i give you credit for expressing your feelings so freely and admitting that you were wrong and sorry. It was very nice. I can DEFFINITELY relate...my mother read my diaries. I was soooo hurt, so embaressed, felt so betrayed and alone, disgusted and hurt. Journals/diaries are the most private and personal things. I had been collecting diaries since i could write, and i have been through a lot. I had about 13 of them filled and still being continued...that day when she came home with my diary she marked about 10 things on every page telling me to "go look at what i wrote." NEVER had i felt more betrayed. Ever, ever ever. It was terrible. I cried and cried and shredded my diary into pieces. Every single last page, and left it in a pile. Her reaction? She laughed in my face and told me it was fine, she didn't care, and that she had already made 2 coppies at work. I was mortified, disgusted. Angry and confused. Why? The next day she sent me away to live with my gramother 35 minutes away. I snuk every last one of my diaries away with me and spent day after day shredding them into microscopic pieces of confetti. Crying the entire time. When all was said and done. I threw them away, and glanced down at my now clistered fingers from such use of the scissiors agains paper. That was the least of my worries. To this day i am deeply saddened. Those diaries meant everything to me. One of the few things i have left from my childhood. I had spent hours, nights on end line after line, page after page. They were more important to me than anything. I've never gotten over it. I wanted to take them with me when i was older, i planned on keeping them with me forever. They're gone forever. And so is every last thought and emotion i leaked into them.

Sorry this was so long. I just wanted to share with you my story of how that happened to me and how bad it hurt me.

I give you TREMENDOUS credit and am very, i don't know, thankful for such a meaningful poem. And the fact that you were TRULY sorry. That means a lot. Fantastic work:)


on Jul. 25 2010 at 8:45 pm
Vanessa Lantagne BRONZE, Londonderry, New Hampshire
3 articles 0 photos 2 comments
thats really good......you're an awsome writer Ü

on Jul. 25 2010 at 3:52 pm
foreverwelsh BRONZE, Cardiff, Other
2 articles 4 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Thin, like butter over too much bread" JRR Tolkien

okay just read a load of comments and i really dont understand why so many people dont get it or think its a novel :S its fab, if u dont get it read it again, thats what i did :D

really well written :)


on Jul. 25 2010 at 2:18 am
meganiscooler GOLD, New Kingston, New York
17 articles 3 photos 13 comments
I love this more every time I read it.. (that sounds creepy, sorry.) But it also makes me sad, brings back memories.. I was heartbroken when my sister read my journal.. ugh. Great job, though.

on Jul. 22 2010 at 7:16 pm
DifferentTeen PLATINUM, Seaford, Delaware
32 articles 2 photos 332 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There’s no such thing as true love, just spurts of insanity—falling over and over again, thinking that won’t happen to me"

It did take some understanding but it wasn't all that confusing.

All in all, an excellent poem.


Pearlcr BRONZE said...
on Jul. 3 2010 at 9:45 am
Pearlcr BRONZE, Bhopal, Other
1 article 0 photos 8 comments
really guud poem....u hav a talent 4 writing...!

on Jun. 29 2010 at 3:00 am
FaithSnyder16 ELITE, Metamora, Ohio
180 articles 8 photos 97 comments

Favorite Quote:
Write what you know, and dream of. - Jane Austen
People throw rocks at things that shine - Taylor Swift
Just Keep Swimming! Just Keep Swimming! - Ellen DeGengeres as Dory

This is really a great poem, the detail almost seemed as if it was a short story of some sort but I did love it. I know what it's like to have a journal read and someone finding something out they never should have known, so it is hard and you did very well capturing that in this poem. Great work. :)

MeganGiselle said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 7:03 pm
I had to read this poem twice to understand it, but once I did the poem took on a new meaning. It is absolutely amazing, and those people who said they did not understand it should try reading it again out loud, because it is truly fantastic. 

-Mz.S- SILVER said...
on Jun. 11 2010 at 6:25 pm
-Mz.S- SILVER, Quincy, Illinois
9 articles 1 photo 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
two fingers up & i'm out! ;)

I agree. The poem is amazing, but i didn't quite understand it. Could you explain it for us?

on Jun. 11 2010 at 11:23 am
thezebrasgray PLATINUM, Taylorsville, Utah
46 articles 0 photos 231 comments
im kind of with losing_but_not_lost246 here, it was difficult to keep track of in your head, and the meaning kind of seemed elusive.  You had to think about it for a second to understand it.  It did have really nice depth and rythm, though.

on May. 25 2010 at 9:22 pm
true it was a very good poem


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