_Why?_ | Teen Ink

_Why?_

March 26, 2015
By AvengeMyBrokenSong GOLD, WHOOP, New York
AvengeMyBrokenSong GOLD, WHOOP, New York
18 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more strength to cry at mid-defeat."
-Susan Boyle
"The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
-Kingdom Hearts


Sometimes, I wonder why I’m even here.
Why I need to be. Why I have to be.
What purpose it there in these rusty gears
That have forgotten how to turn?
Who wants a bluebird that can’t sing,
A butterfly who has lost her wings?
And how the hell can I begin to live
When all I do is crash and burn?

It hits me.
Without warning, without a sound.
Sometimes, I don’t even know it’s there.
But it is.
Weaving itself like a web through the crevices of my soul,
It infiltrates me. And it knows me.
It knows my weaknesses, my fears, my failures.
It knows it can manipulate me quicker than I know how to deal with it.
And it knows that it will win.

How can I let it win?
I’m trying, really, I am.
But it would be better
If I just understood
Why.



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This article has 12 comments.


on May. 29 2015 at 6:43 pm
Jewelz2015 BRONZE, Peoria, Arizona
1 article 11 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
School is preparation for life. -Christopher Howard

no matter how much pain anyone can encounter there will always be a solution... :)

on Apr. 9 2015 at 1:41 pm
BeautyWhispers PLATINUM, Nevada City, California
21 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be Yourself, Be Unique, Be Me. :) - By BeautyWhispers

* way Beautiful keep it up!

on Apr. 9 2015 at 1:40 pm
BeautyWhispers PLATINUM, Nevada City, California
21 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be Yourself, Be Unique, Be Me. :) - By BeautyWhispers

This is deep and emotional and I loved it! It stars great from the very beginning and stays sturdy the whole day.

Beila BRONZE said...
on Apr. 7 2015 at 12:08 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

@RobotPenn., no, thank *you* for actually taking the time to write such a thoughtful response! I hear your point on simplicity--sometimes the beauty is in how few words it takes to convey emotion. And I'm totally with you on the fascinating part. That's why I love to hear what people think of my writing (here, and in the real world), and I think it's the unexpectedly strong connections you end up making with people that make writing become magic. :)

on Apr. 7 2015 at 10:58 am
RobotPenn. SILVER, El Paso, Texas
8 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Profound change is cumulative."

@Beila is totally right, you had some beautiful sentences in the beginning. The end is still my absolute favorite, probably just because I'm a sucker for simplicity. That said, I can see how one can read it as a little disconnected from the rest of the poem because of its lack of your lovely imagery. Try adding to it, if you'd like. But the main idea of the end is still what I find best about this piece. It's fascinating to see what different people get from the same piece of writing. In fact, that might just be my favorite part about it. Thanks, @Beila for pointing that out to me, it's made me look at this poem in a deeper way. :)

on Apr. 7 2015 at 7:11 am
AvengeMyBrokenSong GOLD, WHOOP, New York
18 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more strength to cry at mid-defeat."
-Susan Boyle
"The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
-Kingdom Hearts

Wow, I've never gotten such a heartfelt compliment, thanks!:) Will do for future work!^_^

Beila BRONZE said...
on Apr. 6 2015 at 8:08 pm
Beila BRONZE, Palo Alto, California
3 articles 0 photos 519 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco." -Mark Twain

Actually, I have to counter @RobotPenn. (Sorry, you're awesome!) I thought you started really strong, and I wanted more out of the ending. My favorite lines were "Who wants... crash and burn?" I really connected with that imagery, that hopeless feeling of looking up and being too far down to see the light. "Crevices in my soul" and "It knows me" are such strong lines. Something about "it would be better" in the end seemed too simple for this gorgeous imagery you'd had set up before. I'd encourage you to play with the wording in the last few lines, but the overall poem is fabulous. By the way, one of the most beautiful things about poetry is that it touches every person differently, and congratulations, you've accomplished that here. :)

on Apr. 6 2015 at 11:44 am
AvengeMyBrokenSong GOLD, WHOOP, New York
18 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more strength to cry at mid-defeat."
-Susan Boyle
"The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
-Kingdom Hearts

@RobotPenn. Thanks, that means a lot to hear that from such an amazing writer!:)

on Apr. 6 2015 at 11:18 am
RobotPenn. SILVER, El Paso, Texas
8 articles 1 photo 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Profound change is cumulative."

This is really good. Especially the end. I really like the structure there. It felt like a stream of consciousness, summarizing the rest of the poem in five simple lines that actually, kinda broke my heart. Needless to say, great job! I loved it. :)

on Apr. 3 2015 at 10:48 am
ABIGAIL.S PLATINUM, Trenton, Ohio
37 articles 3 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"only you can start a change you want"

That's the way I feel.

on Apr. 3 2015 at 8:23 am
AvengeMyBrokenSong GOLD, WHOOP, New York
18 articles 0 photos 83 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It takes more strength to cry at mid-defeat."
-Susan Boyle
"The closer you get to the light, the bigger your shadow becomes."
-Kingdom Hearts

Aw, thanks! I try to write from the heart. What use is there in writing something if you can't genuinely feel it and say you have experienced it?

on Apr. 2 2015 at 2:09 pm
ABIGAIL.S PLATINUM, Trenton, Ohio
37 articles 3 photos 35 comments

Favorite Quote:
"only you can start a change you want"

This made me tear up honestly. I feel the same way sometimes. This is beautiful and just the first two lines show more emotion than most poetry I read. I loved it.