Inferno Locks

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I would watch out for that ginger if I were you. 

One touch of her hair and you will burn to a crisp. 

Don’t look into her eyes; maybe you’ll turn to stone. 

When she walks into a room, everyone puts on

sunglasses because her inferno locks

might make you go blind.

 

~Then again…~

 

I would learn more about that ginger if I were you. 

One touch of her hair and you would be amazed. 

Look into her eyes; they are just as incredible. 

When she walks into a room, all attention is towards her inferno locks, and no eyes wander.






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ellwist said...
Aug. 23, 2015 at 8:08 am
Solid piece. Really like how it switches in the end. Good job on this one!
 
BeilaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 23, 2015 at 1:11 am
:D I love this! I like that you begin with the shame cowering its head, yet you end by owning your most distinctive trait, proudly placing it on display. The one thing I would suggest for you to add to the parallel-ism here is to also make the words of each pair of stanzas correlate. I think it would read more smoothly that way, almost like a kind of slant rhyme, and it would also make the unique structure more obvious. As is, though, I already give you props on creativity!
 
CrackedGlass_IDidItThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
May 24, 2015 at 3:41 pm
I love the parallel structure, great job!
 
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