I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards....

I feel the warm sun, the breeze, and a pure-yellow washes over me...

The boat moves gently, swaying along in harmony with the deep blue underneath...

My eyelids, still dropped, closing me off, shielding me, keeping me away...

Yet I still travel through time and place....

I still move through the shadows of the day, through the stars of the night...

I move, silently, tip-toeing...

I move beyond....

And then I am there, seeing the little girl, on a swing-set, carefree...

I am there seeing the look of pure jubilance on her face as she flies with the wind...hair

whipping...hands clutching...eyes crinkling...laughter dancing....

I am there, further in time, there...where little droplets escape from her brown orbs....

I am there, yet again further....where determination to do something is set in her face...

I smile, reminiscing...and then I know it is time...

I am back within myself...but not with myself....

I am lost in the shadow of my own memories...

Time flies behind my closed eyes....

I see me on that swing, laughing....

I see me in school, cries escaping, tears spilling...

I see me at home...working diligently till the sleep takes over...

And then I see me, back on the boat...

I open my eyes...

I am alone...

All alone...

Silence fills the air...

I look at myself...through the reflections of the swirling colors, memories, emotions...

I look at myself...through the dark lashes touching the tips of my cheeks...through the blinding

light of sun...through the clear reflections of the deep blue...

I see myself in a curled position, arms hugging my knees to me...

I see a hollow shell...

One worried about everything...yet nothing...

One worried about things that don’t matter...

I see a shell so afraid of leaping...so afraid of failing...so afraid of flying...so afraid of crashing...

So afraid of believing...

So afraid of being simply me...

I see a shell that has lost the soul somewhere within...

I see a soul straining to be released...

I stand up...and let it wash over me...healing...helping...breaking....

I feel the sun, the breeze, the pureness again...

I feel a sense of understanding washing over me....

I look to my right and see an endless water of possibilities...

I see a path with bumps and curves...with downfalls and pain...but I also see a light....

A light, illuminating the darkness...

I look back and I see mountains...mountains that I have climbed...

The hardships and the rewards...I see a lost soul...

I look up and I see the pureness again...the yellow-white glow...

I see that I am standing in between...

I am standing in a boat...between the demons of my past...and the angels of my future...

I am standing between living and being truly alive...

I am standing in between fear and strength...between regret for the past and regret for the future...

I am standing in between...

I think...about new chances and past mistakes...I think about becoming stronger and succumbing

to my weaknesses...

I think...and think...

And then I know...

I take one last look at the sun...and dive...swimming away from the boat...away from the in-

between....

I am in the waters of possibilities now...and there are no more regrets, no more shells...

I am afraid of failing...but not of flying...because I know every time I fail...I can still fly again...

I am no longer afraid of believing....in me...

As a swim further and further... I know...I made the right choice...because after all every day is a

new opportunity...a new chance at everything....a new way to become fully alive...