When playing a riveting game of charades
You will guess the right answer and its is your turn to get up
With careful hand, paper cuts are no fun, you will search
Until you find the folded paper which just feels right.
Adrenaline still pumps through your veins from guessing correctly
And you are feeling pretty darn good.

You will unfold the paper, your heart beating fast, anticipation clear
on your face.
And the carelessly scribbled words are revealed
and you can feel your body sink in discouragement.
You were the unlucky player to get the hardest of all -
An action many agree is hard to perform.

Your one sick and well-educated friend laughs out loud
She can tell by your face that you are up against the wall
she built.
Sucking in your breath, you get it together
And start moving your hands in seemingly meaningless ways.
Frustration grows in your stomach as for the ninth time you
show a table
And an angry haze builds toward your sly friend
As you tear at your hair, teasing it, trying, trying to
appear a mad scientist.

Finally, ten minutes into this hell, you get creative and break down
the pieces
Into hot, dog, Einstein, dragon, one word, two words, four words, synonym,
sound like
Synonym for hot dog, sounds like Einstein, one word, two parts
And so on and so on and so on.
But no one ever guesses.
You run through stages of denial, fury, depression
Before you lose your cool for good and yell:
“Frankenstein creating his monster!” and collapse on the floor in defeat.
Creator

To be in my mind, oh! to be in my mind.
Sharp waves cut off my thoughts just as they would drown small fish
Sliced, diced, and trampled by rude waves in my brain
my thoughts sought to be free and hold their hold.
But I know how the earth changes when my mind is unrestricted,
I know what happens when limits don’t exist and the results,
They have ruined me forever.

I brought myself to the Hell where I reside.
I carried my own body to this wretched place and even,
Even when my thoughts ran clean like mountain water,
Did I know what I had done and oh coward that I am!
I shut the iron door and fled, fled from my own creation.

I broke myself and fell to the deepest pits of my mind and let all
reason go
Living in my mind, behind my eyes which saw such terrifying sights,
Was my coward’s way to my own survival.
I was weakened to the point of breaking by all I had seen
And in the pit of my fearful, shameful heart, I knew
It was my fault.
My own undoing
I myself unraveled the sweater that was my life
And carelessly tangled all that had been.

Waking

Through mist or haze or clouds of heavy
I stumbled into being.
Born with my eyes tightly sealed and my ears fully blocked
I was like a helpless kitten, just feeling the cool air on its limbs.
But I lacked any motherly warmth or protection.
It was as if I wore a heavy lead blanket over my shoulders
And I struggled with the weight of my existence.

Solitary, among the zealous, lively families and hoards of caring friends who  made the world spin,
I blindly stood and had it not in me to question.
My mind worked as though it had been caught at low tide
And its wheels worked hard for very little.
Just as the ocean comes in, so did the gears of my mind slowly
spins.
Yet still was I in a fog and my actions not unlike a baby’s
As the sun rose each day, the light pushed the dense fog farther back
And my eyes became unsealed and my ear heard the sounds of life.

My awakening was slow and I, motherless and protector-less, stumbled  much along the way.
The light first burned my eyes and the bird song sharply hit my ears
But nature mellowed as I grew, or did I harden, yet either way
Light came to sooth and song to please.
My senses were regaled with sounds of the wind and colors and
smells of forest
Relying on none and skill-less in the ways of being.
I lived without a reason, hope or love
For all feelings of body and mind remained unknown to me.
I lived because you created me, like God created Adam, as a disastrous
experiment.