To The Person I Could Have Been | Teen Ink

To The Person I Could Have Been

January 21, 2015
By eplurabisunum BRONZE, Nashua, New Hampshire
eplurabisunum BRONZE, Nashua, New Hampshire
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

I remember how eager you were to start preschool
Mommy dressed you like a little school girl
Two braids running down the sides of your head
Mommy was scared to let you go
But you ran away like a dog off a leash.

Young.
So excited to make new friends
Your personality was as bright as the glimmer in a newborns eyes

Then in the kindergarten
You came in that denim dress
With shirley temple curls and a big pink bow
And you’d gloat about knowing your abc’s

Elementary school was a breeze.
You made friends left and right
You’d wear that gray sequined shirt
I remember the way you would walk down the halls
like it was a runway in a fashion show

Then middle school came
All the changes to everyones bodies
All the growth spurts
You’ve never felt so uncomfortable in your own body
Instead of that fashion runway
You now stayed backstage

In the 7th grade you started wearing make up
Mom thought you were too young,
Grandma thought the same.
But you wanted to be like everyone else

You insisted on the black mascara,
And pleaded on the eyeliner
You’ve worn it everyday since.

You met your closest friends
You met your closest enemies
And started to grow up.
You realized you’re not that same innocent little girl anymore.
People you grown up with
Have grown apart

Middle school is where everything started to change
Just as quickly as Summer turns to fall.
The way teachers treated you
The way your friends acted,
And especially who you were.

It was full of confusion
New classes
Several teachers
Little 2 week relationships
Girls growing boobs
Having their periods
Boys getting tall
Voices growing deeper

There was so much change in so little time.
Within those 3 years of change and despair,
You started to form who you are today.

High school came
Those friends that you thought would stay forever
Had left.
Leaving you as lonely as ever.

You felt as rejected and alone as the last kid picked in gym class
Your personality was still shining
But now masked and hidden

Wandering the hallways like a lost puppy
Turning your head for some kind of direction
You gave up.

You could have been the school girl with the braids
You could have been the girl with the sequined shirt
You could have turned your life around the moment it started to change

But you didn’t.
You let society control you
And you were convinced by the people around you
You didn’t do the one thing that everyone says to do

Be yourself.

In a world like today’s
We are clones
We all mirror each other's actions
Like a bunch of dummies controlled by some superior being
The one thing you had freedom to do
You failed at

Be yourself.


The author's comments:

This piece is about my experience growing up, and all the transitions I've had to face.


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