The Mime

A painted face
Eyes shining brightly
Crisp white gloves
Hiding hands
Rose red lips
A perfect smile
Clothes all black
Brilliant contrast
Walking and dancing
Moving just right
Laughing and crying
Silent
And I can’t help but wonder
Who is the one behind the pained face






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This article has 13 comments. Post your own now!

elycavill This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 8, 2015 at 3:48 pm
Great use of description technique. Keep up
 
CreativeFreakkk said...
Apr. 2, 2015 at 11:28 am
This is great! I never really thought of the person behind the paint in quite this way. You did a great play on words on lines 9-12. This poem, although fast, is amazing.
 
abby0 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 1, 2015 at 10:21 am
I loved it. Its beautiful.
 
SilverInkThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 31, 2015 at 11:33 pm
loved it...
 
Amai-kun This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 15, 2015 at 8:43 am
I like this very much. One thing that I think could be improved is how the writing flows.
 
CaseyChickenWang This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 3, 2015 at 11:36 pm
I. Love. it. I can almost hear it in a song. I love how it's so much more than a surface poem- it really makes one reflect :)
 
ThePoeticJustice said...
Jan. 30, 2015 at 7:56 pm
the silent strangers... beautiful, bby girl.
 
JRaye This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 30, 2015 at 8:56 am
I wrote a poem similar to this actual, same title & pic - It's a haiku, but yeah, if you wanna check it out go ahead! :) Anyway I like this a lot, very descriptive and deep :)
 
AprilNicole This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 28, 2015 at 4:11 pm
I really like this one. It's kind of choppy in some places, but you get across a really deep meaning in a small poem, which you've done really well. It's definitely an emotional piece. Good job! :)
 
AbigailGilgal replied...
Jan. 29, 2015 at 3:10 pm
Thanks so much! And yeah it is kind of rough. Normally when I write I am to wordy and I think I might have tried a little too hard to keep it short and precise.
 
teacuppoetry said...
Jan. 27, 2015 at 4:44 pm
I see the premise of the poem. However, I feel that you could perhaps swap and change a few of the lines. By editing, you can make your own voice shine through :) Also, try experimenting with punctuation x
 
AbigailGilgal replied...
Jan. 27, 2015 at 5:16 pm
Thanks so much for the feedback! I added punctuation and I think it made the whole thing flow better. Thanks for the tips!
 
MalaikaJ said...
Jan. 22, 2015 at 11:48 am
I love this!!! It was so ordinary until the last three lines. Those made the whole thing deep. Great job!
 
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