I’ve heard people say when you take certain medicines,
your body may react in such a way that causes you to have hallucinations.
I was never really sure of this until I myself contracted an illness,
and took this generic brand cough medicine.
After doing this, I can safely say that I hope I never
have to take such medicine again.
Because during my two hallucinations while under the wrath
of the medicine, I gained perspectives about my feelings toward life.
The first was moments before I surrendered to slumber.
Sleep was having trouble coming to me; but without notice,
I was completely at peace.
I was floating in a familiar pool, untouched by anyone.
Only a dim light in the corner lit the clear liquid that
surrounded my body. But in that moment, it wasn’t my body.
It was my persona.
The other instance was far more real, and much more alarming.
Again, sleep was coming. This time, without effort, in broad daylight.
Everything seemed so real. Weak, I understand. However, all it took was
the right set of circumstances; the grey skies outside engrossed with
water molecules falling to the ground, combined with my soft grey pillow
and my old phone set to silent.
I felt as though I was going to die.
I don’t mean this because I felt so sick that I lost all thought- rather, the opposite.
I felt very much at peace. So much, that my body went numb,
and I thought that it was the end. Right then and there, after
only seventeen short years of life, I thought my end had come.
You must understand that to feel this way, there is no peace involved.
Personally, my moment of peace and what should have been relaxation
quickly turned to panic and hyperventilation- only to leave my body quietly,
just as quick as it had come, and bring back the peace
and leave my body senseless and anesthetized, but not dead.
Rather, in a tranquil sleep that would last approximately forty-three minutes.