Today when I threw up

it tasted like you,
It tasted bitter
and it tasted sweet
And my stomach lurched upward
like my wanting hands
but then my tongue recoiled
like the scorched nerve endings
in my brain

Today when I remembered
the taste of you,
I smacked my face on the toilet seat-
It left an indelible imprint
that looks so much like
your shadow

And today when that imprint reddened
my flesh,
I paused and could smell
bathroom cleaner
My how gleaming and beautiful
every white surface is
And my how I just tainted it
with that murky liquid

Then today when I discolored that
white bathroom I thought-
Oh how I wish I had the strength
to keep that murky liquid inside of me
I feel more empty now