What would I do if I was not afraid?
Where would I be?
I’d be above the eiffel tower at the bottom of the ocean
looking down from up and up from down
I would jump rope with monsters
and smile with black widows on my sleeves
I would cry until my eyes stung
and then laugh my way to chiseled abs
fairies would give me kisses
while I surmounted mount Everest
hardly breathing heavily.
I would dance, laugh, love, scream, and sumersault
without glancing over my shoulder
to see what anyone thought.
Fearless,
I would fly with the albatross
over seas of worries, doubts and insecurities.
I would sing out loud
and not care about the sound.
I would feel the wind in my hair
taste the salt in the air
and feel the sting of ocean water in my cuts.
Unafraid,
I would have a lot of cuts
because I would take a lot of risks
and jump over the edges
but I would still fly.
I am not fearless though.
So I am here,
where the sea never breathes
but the sun always shines
and the future is anywhere but here.
Here, where the people often smile
and the people are hiding their fears.
Here, winter is a collection of sunshine
and droplets of rain that become snow and melt.
I live here un-fearlessly but satisfactorily
in Albuquerque New Mexico,
where everyone wants to leave
and everyone always comes back.
I am here today
gone tomorrow
and back again.
I am fearful
but glad to have something so special to fear.
6 AM mornings, classes until 315 and climbing rocks in between
this is my life
In three weeks it will be different
in one year it will be the same again
in three years I will be on my own
to busy changing the world to miss
the 6 AM mornings.
in 45 years I will have nothing to lose
and I will be fearless.
I will  fly.