She starved herself,
wishing, wanting,
longing
to become her idea of
perfection.
She told herself
that her weight was
the most important thing,
in fact,
it was the only thing
that mattered at all.
If she could just slim down,
just a little bit,
she would have everything
that she had ever wanted
and more.
And everyday, she woke up
a little more tired
than the day before,
still unable to accept
what she saw in the mirror.
She was so sure
that being skinny
would mean
being happy.
That the two qualities
were interchangeable.
But it was a lie,
it was all
one
big
lie.
For the less she weighed
the further away from
being truly happy she got.
Every dropped pound
brought a single moment
of relief,
only to be buried
in the disappointment
that the scale didn’t say
something smaller.
The thinner she got
the harder it became
for her to see
what she was actually worth.
She couldn’t see
that with each pound she dropped,
she was destroying herself.
But then,
she let it all go.
She battled with her
picture of perfection,
until it was a picture
of herself.
She gained back the weight
and in doing so,
gained back her life.
She realized that
beauty is on the inside
and her
obsession with skinny
was making her bitter.
She saved herself
with every bite.
She realized that
she was worth so much more
than she had ever anticipated.
She was beautiful,
and smart,
and the people who
actually mattered
could see that in her.
She finally attained
the happiness that she longed for
by setting herself free
from the restraints of the scale,
the restraints of an eating disorder.