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My Journal is Crowded
  Have you ever written a word
  so many times
  over and over again that eventually
  the way it is spelled becomes
  completely foreign to you and the letters look
  so out of place and you are convinced you have
  been spelling it wrong this entire time and all these
  sheets of paper are just pages and pages of typos
  and you are so unsure that you google the word
  to check the spelling or you search up
  the name in your contacts and when you were right
  after all and the e was meant to go there and yes the i
  ultimately does have that dot above its plain simple line
  so you just stare at that word and suddenly it has less
  meaning than it once did before ten pages of my journal
  were filled with its burn
  That’s what I did with your name
  I wrote it ten thousand times
  till my wrist hurt
  and suddenly it was distant
  and suddenly the pain
  I felt when I saw it had
  completely vanished

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Basically this is how I cope with mixed emotions on topics and people I know nothing about