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This ones' for you

September 11, 2014
By seeitinmyeyes BRONZE, Hemet, California
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seeitinmyeyes BRONZE, Hemet, California
4 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
Treat your life like you are truly an hourglass and you dont know when the last grain of sand will fall through to the bottom.

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Do you know what its like?

To feel loved 

To have a connection with someone

But on the otherside of the relastionship

Its all a game

A sick twisted game

I know what its like 

To look into someones' eyes'

And see their soul

To think that sparkle in their eye

Is love

But its not

Its them knowing:

Them knowing they have you wrapped around their little finger.

© Gary C., Pequannock, NJ

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JOIN THE DISCUSSION

This article has 1 comment.

Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM said...
on Sep. 22 2014 at 7:58 am
Trace.C.Schuelke PLATINUM, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
26 articles 0 photos 22 comments

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Hmm, I feel like the malefic undertone here is established well, since there's definite emotion behind the words. However, I also feel like that undertone could have been described or shown better. I would maybe revisit this piece and try adding in some metaphors or imagery, just to enhance the overall product. Perhaps you could relate the other person's wickedness to that of hunter-hunted style. Just a thought. But yeah, the groundwork is there, now all you need are the trimmings.