In grade six she was called the n-word. At the time she didn’t know what the word meant, but from the way it was aimed at her told her that it was a word that she would have to fear for the rest of her existence. At that young age of twelve she forced herself away from a world that she had not yet got to experience.
The rest of junior high she lived in a box so dark and empty that the only light was the occasional compliment that was directed toward her, but let me tell you something my friends, words of hate speak louder than words of kindness…cutting deep into the flesh that others have grown to make fun of. Living with a deep burning sensation, an itch she couldn’t soothe no matter how hard she tired. In her mind no one wanted her here…so why should she stay?
She lived in a circle, diameter of one because she was too afraid to experience what she had been running from all these years. Growing up in a world where you had to scream Fire because Rape wasn’t easily responded to. Growing up with the constant fear of going to school and being taken back to that one day in sixth grade that changed her view of herself and those around her. Growing up in a world where she thought that the definition of beauty was what they portrayed in Vogue and Ebony. Growing up in a world where her people were “inferior” and didn’t have a voice….
….growing up in a world where being African American obviously meant a bad thing…