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my monster
i feel a darkness.
it's welling up inside of me,
consuming me,
and i'm afraid
i'm afraid to open my mouth,
to move,
because if i do, it will come out
in a scream
in a kick
in a punch.
so i swallow it.
i let it stay inside.
i hide it.
i fake a smile.
i force a laugh.
i tell a joke that only i get,
but it doesn't matter anyway
because no one listens
no one looks at me,
and i remember why i was mad,
why i was frustrated
and it's coming back.
i feel a darkness.
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