Why don't we talk anymore?
Why do I still stay up till 4 in the morning,
with the the of you running through my mind?
Why after all this time I still think of you?
How are you?
Is she happy with out me?
Does she care about me?
Does she think about me?
Does she remember the times we shared?
The kisses? The secrets? The conversations?
These questions run through my mind,
and I can never seem to suppress them.
Never run from them or hide from them.
I just want to move on.
I want to be able to see you in the hallway
and not feel my heart drop and break all over again.
I want to be able to hear your name in a conversation
and not replay every moment I ever had with you.
But as I can't change the past,
I can't change how I feel.
I can lie to everyone
say I hate your guts,
say I don't want to hear your name
or even say i don't think about you anymore.
But I know it's it's a lie,
I know that I can't stop.
It’s been 392 since we've stopped talking,
it's 3:48 am and its the thought of you that led me here
laying in my bed, in tears, in confusion.
Feeling lonely and lost.
I can never say this to your face but, I miss you...
Maybe one day you'll see what you lost,
what you threw away.

- July 14th, 2014, 3:53am