I'm from a cardboard warehouse
sealed with barbed-wire bliss
from blue to purple,
Back to blue once more.
Heat swarming our shriveling pores
Beads of sweat skipping down our necks
screeching cries sealed with a true lie
of our Indifference.

It was where I dressed each day
ballerina, too-too's, I'm a princess!
No I'm not!
Leos like swimsuits
at least before spandex was needed
it's funny how they never could
tell the difference
between Nicole and Kristie.

I'm from pain crumbling behind buckets of powdered chalk,
cloudily with elegant pride
security, not serenity
we plead.

Our flock full of parents,
sisters and sisters,
they always hand-cuffed my neck
and stretched it to the sky
even when I said to stop at the very 1st tree they ever saw.

Where muscles ripped, bled for Mercy,
Mercy, help
I'm not cut out to survive this explosion
no crying allowed
in our perfect foam pit.

And wear your sadness on you sleeve,
the one that was always too long
but never fixed.
Tuck it with your fear, anger, loss,
anything to make them feel okay.

I am from blurred boundaries
between judgement and self-worth,
tape your ankles, tape your hands, tape your wrists, forget.
Forget until our vessels tumblr down the floor.
Yurachanko, Pseukahara, Full-In, Full-Out,
"That was Better!" "We want another one better than the other one, ins--"
"Squeeze your butt." "Suck in your breakfast"
"You may as well go back to level 3"
"Don't come back; you don't deserve our world."

A wardrobe where tears visible deemed illegal
and tears invisible are implied..
"Don't ask, just do." they whisper behind trembling lips
15 more seconds...
"Don't fall, don't fall"
or we'll all start over.
I was always my fault.

I'm from sleepovers carved before Hell
"Don't stay up! Cookies aren't cut out for you!"
Smells of chemicals, gel
make-up, show-off,
Do it for the judges.

Days full of salt-water baths
pierced from the voice of her...
It just keeps coming back.
"You're not good enough. Accept it."
Like my whole life a quiz
I cheated for a breath
drama, drama, drama
Now they're 6 years ahead.

Stolen purses,
split blood on ropes are blessings
"I quit!" "Don't fight!"
A race to declare defeat before war.
Spraying water, opening garages,
stay there for the night;
A tornadoes is in sight. Let's watch
The stars rise.

I am from perseverance
stretched to manipulation, death
We are not cut out for war.
I want my too-too back
These spandex are too shorts and never long enough


I'm from days where forgetting your smile
means 500 v-ups, sit-ups, push-ups
Power routines , sprints, confused with asthma attacks
or suspension.

I'm from a fluffy warehouse -
Pick one; they're all the same -
a place so messed up
My mother asked God for forgiveness.
"Don't panic, Don't show your fear, Don't'"

NO! Let me out.
I'd never hope this upon my facile too-too'ed neck.