I used to weigh ninety-three pounds

thirty-three pounds for how good I am at math, my mother always told her bumper-sticker friendships I was a star, look at these nonexistent red markings on these polished papers

twenty pounds for that mindset, that drive, those flashcards all inked and tea mugs all drinked and thoughts all thinked

seventeen pounds for that smile, tea-stained teeth rotting from the backsides but who would notice, it is the gleam that counts

twelve pounds for these people surrounding, friendships and relationships and sinking and sailing

six pounds for that sleeping, pillow between my knees to keep from endless knocking on the head's door of perhaps a possibility

four pounds for the Subway sandwich from the mechanical shop, metallic counters in the grease of the mall, people eating, people scarfing, people shoving, it's all a mess, wheat bread please and turkey breast please and no cheese please and just lettuce please and the yellow mustard please and that will be all, thank you very much, my pleasure to work with you.

one pound for why is my hair falling out

i gained ten more but i think i lost my mind