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Mother's Day

I dedicate this day to this hole.
I want to say thank you hole for being there my entire life, although
I never realized you were there until
I started asking questions like, "why are my eyes so small? Why is my head so small? Why are my fingers so small?"
You got bigger and bigger each year I asked these questions. You never answered them. You answered the phone, sometimes. When you did, I was always curious as to why you could never hold a conversation for more than hour, but then I remembered that you are just a hole and it was hard for you to pick up the phone in the first place.
But still, I dedicate this day to you, and I want to say thank you for staining my skin instead of my personality. Thank you for leaving my mind a chemical equation
That can only be balanced my medication.
Thank you for being the bigger hole
I've ever seen in my life but not allowing anything to fit inside it.
You're ironic as hell, and you tell the best jokes ever. My favorite one
Is how you said you'd always
be here, but you're not, and that's how this hole got here; that's how you got here. And yet I still have the nerve, the nostalgia for a place I've never even been to or known, to dedicate this day to you.
Twenty four hours to you.
1,440 minutes to you when you couldn't give me one.
You pushed me out and passed
me on, and because of that our phone calls are more like
interviews instead of casual conversations. The word "mom" is in the language of genetics instead of love. And I know for a fact I'm not bilingual and neither are you. That's why when we talk it sounds like we're from two different worlds, when in reality, we were supposed to be part of the same one,
but you couldn't put down the needle and stop having fun.
Instead you took the devil to
Mother-Daughter dances, and left me to Tango with adoption agencies.
But still I'm not the one to pick the option of hate when these wounds get to deep; when this hole gets to big.
I just remind myself that you are only the size of my eyes my head and my fingers, when they are the size of my heart.
But still I dedicate this day to you,
so happy Mother's Day.



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