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Somewhere In Brooklyn

There is a child raising a child
Neither of them sleep
Tender nor mild
That kid got more stress than rules
Mama got more bills to pay
Than tests to take in school

Somewhere in Harlem
There is a young man
Wondering why his father won't call him
Daddy got 15 in jail
With a phone in his cell
He has yet to give a dial
Cause he ain't even know he had a child

Somewhere in Queens
On the corner is a woman with fear in her eyes
Guilt in her heart
Money on her mind
Wearing skirts that could barely cover up her thighs
She works a 9-5 just like any other woman can
The difference is that she works with 5-9 different men

New York New York
Big city of dreams
Big city of lights
One would think you can see everything

But behind those lights
Behind those dreams
Are the people that create them
Somewhere in Brooklyn, Harlem, and Queens



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WinterRose1976This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jun. 28 at 11:51 am
This piece has great potential. I thought your poem's concept and message was very interesting. However, the overall flow of your poem was way off. The rhythm was all over the place, and the inconsistent rhyming was confusing. Because of that, I had a hard time staying focused while reading. It's still a good poem though. All it needs is alittle editing 3/5
 
iDani-iBeauty replied...
Jul. 2 at 10:18 am
Thank You For Your Feedback !
 
Luv4EverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 15 at 5:36 pm
A few meter issues but a deep message, good work
 
iDani-iBeauty replied...
Jun. 15 at 11:43 pm
Thanks for the feedback !!!!
 
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