Sharp Tongues

May 21, 2014
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I am the sharp ring
of a clicking tongue
pushed up against the gum
while a scowl curls your lips down.

A bitter taste
that is sharp and

The hiss of a snake
voiced with the meer tap
against the teeth.

A question of authority,
of power and strength between
you and me.
Care for a challenge?

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FunneThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 28, 2014 at 6:36 pm
Im willing to bet the narrator could kill someone.
raydek said...
Jun. 2, 2014 at 10:17 pm
I really liked the tone in the poem it definately have it an sharp and harsh feel. Maybe if you gave a rhyme scheme that sounded harsh with words like "crack" or "spear" you could convey that feel a little more. Also you could replace the "you" in the last stanza to something more specific and maybe it could be better. Overral though it was a very nice poem.
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