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Sharp Tongues

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I am the sharp ring
of a clicking tongue
pushed up against the gum
while a scowl curls your lips down.

A bitter taste
that is sharp and
acidic.

The hiss of a snake
voiced with the meer tap
against the teeth.

A question of authority,
of power and strength between
you and me.
Care for a challenge?




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raydek said...
today at 10:17 pm:
I really liked the tone in the poem it definately have it an sharp and harsh feel. Maybe if you gave a rhyme scheme that sounded harsh with words like "crack" or "spear" you could convey that feel a little more. Also you could replace the "you" in the last stanza to something more specific and maybe it could be better. Overral though it was a very nice poem.
 
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