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Sometimes I wish

Sometimes I wish
My life was as simple
As I make it
Appear to be.
There isn’t a day
That I don’t wish that
It wasn’t just
Me playing pretend
So people don’t worry about me
The brokenness inside of me
Is sometimes more then
I can handle
Sometimes my life
Is more than I can comprehend
Every day is a battle
I have to choice
To put on the “happy me”
Because I care to much
About others
To let them worry
About me
It is nothing new
I have been doing this
Since practically the day
I was born
But sometimes
I get tired
Of fighting
So hard
Sometimes I want
Somebody to have the time
To simply talk to me
All day long
To make me feel better
To allow me to express
How badly I am hurting
How I am always hurting
How I just need a mother
How I need a friend
I can rely on
Who I can trust
Whole heartedly
Who won’t judge me
For the things
I have done
Simply so
I can survive
My world
My tragically impossible world
I don’t push people away
Because it is easier
But because it has keep me safe
Sometimes I wish I could restart
Be born into a different family
Be a different person
But at the same time
I would never give
This life to someone else
It is not a life
Even my worst enemy
Deserves
It is not the life I would choice
But what can I do, it’s mine
It was the day I was born
It is now
And it will be mine until the day I die



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