My Gates Are Not Open | Teen Ink

My Gates Are Not Open

May 14, 2014
By sanddycandy SILVER, Wichita, Kansas
sanddycandy SILVER, Wichita, Kansas
5 articles 0 photos 10 comments

To call something your own gives freedom to the soul
Internally, we have the right to let our thoughts form independently
Now I see what you're doing
Strangling my opinion as your grubby hand shoves yours down my throat
I believe what I believe
Roll your eyes a little further and they'll get stuck
My ideas are forever changing but my gates are not open to your influence
It is today I'm closing my fence and claiming my own righteousness


The author's comments:
On the path to self-discovery, I've found many people who would rather tell me who I am rather than asking. This is dedicated to those who feel the need to push their opinions on to you.

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This article has 12 comments.


NOIZTHIMS GOLD said...
on May. 19 2015 at 10:53 pm
NOIZTHIMS GOLD, South Jordan, Utah
15 articles 0 photos 51 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If your eyes could speak, what... what would they say?" -Max (from "The Book Thief")

Beautiful, just beautiful.

on Mar. 3 2015 at 1:20 am
kikixkupkake GOLD, San Marcos, California
17 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The things that walk out when we open our minds." -Dylan McCoy

I'm a fan of the rebellious writer that you are. Your poems definitely feature an interesting channel of anger but incoporate the emotion in a way that isn't too overpowering. If you elaborated on this piece and maybe extended it with some more breaks, like @Amai-kun said, it could transform into something really amazing.

on Feb. 22 2015 at 9:55 pm
Allen. PLATINUM, Palo Alto, California
32 articles 9 photos 525 comments

Favorite Quote:
[i]No matter how much people try to put you down or make you think other things about yourself, the only person you can trust about who you really are is you[/i] -Crusher-P

I like this very much. Poetic_ink is right, you're very passionate and show a lot of emotion in this piece. I would, however, recommend a bit more breakage, perhaps more paragraphs as opposed to all in one piece. Keep writing!

on Feb. 21 2015 at 7:08 pm
poetic_ink GOLD, Naperville, Illinois
12 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost

Great work, I could feel your passion though your imagery.

on Feb. 21 2015 at 4:03 pm
MysticMusic ELITE, Waterloo, Other
116 articles 0 photos 120 comments

Favorite Quote:
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” -Mae West
"It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things." - Leonardo Da Vinci

Great poem, I love the idea of persevering with your own ideas and not letting anyone force their ideas down your throat. That was great imagery. Disturbing, but great imagery. Your mention of independence really got to me, and it was just amazing.

TimR. PLATINUM said...
on Feb. 18 2015 at 10:18 pm
TimR. PLATINUM, Allentown, New York
34 articles 0 photos 12 comments
I like your comparison to the grubby hands. It gave a clear, though disturbing picture in my head. Great job though:)

on Feb. 17 2015 at 12:52 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
*my throat. Also want to praise u on ur courage for ignoring these people and being proud of who r u!

on Feb. 17 2015 at 12:48 pm
WOWriting SILVER, Broadstairs, Other
5 articles 0 photos 266 comments
Intriguing poem, really liked it. Metaphors + similes can help poems but I think this one is powerful in its simplicity and the message has, in my opinion, the right amount of detail and emphasis throughout. The only thing I would say is the line 'strangling my opinion as your grubby hand shoves yours down your throat' should be powerful, but instead is a little confusing. Keep writing and improving your work!

Marieke SILVER said...
on May. 25 2014 at 2:37 pm
Marieke SILVER, Tijeras, New Mexico
6 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I enjoyed it because the idea is very powerful. I would work on making your images just as powerful, you can do that by either, as the previous comment mentioned, working on metaphors and similies or just adding stronger adjectives. The image of the grubby hand came across clearly and powerfully, but the rest of the images weren't projected as well. I would also work on structure giving some phrases lines of their own like, "I believe," and "My ideas" this will help stress the speakers idea of individuality. Hopefully my suggestion are helpful! Overall, very nice poem! :)

on May. 25 2014 at 10:29 am
Olivia-Atlet ELITE, Dardenne Prairie, Missouri
324 articles 10 photos 1166 comments

Favorite Quote:
"To these the past hath its phantoms,
More real than solid earth;
And to these death does not mean decay,
But only another birth"
- Isabella Banks

LOVE this!!!! XD

on May. 24 2014 at 3:36 pm
Luv4Ever SILVER, Jacksonville, Florida
7 articles 0 photos 199 comments

Favorite Quote:
A miracle is just another name for hard work
-Minho in "To The Beautiful You"

i also agree with the former reply and i liv it as well^^

Psychedelik said...
on May. 24 2014 at 12:01 pm
Psychedelik, Urbandale, Iowa
0 articles 0 photos 26 comments
This is a very thoughtful poem.  I feel like it would be nice to work in some metaphors/similes, but it's very well written overall.