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Does it ever end?

I always feel
Like I’m on the outside
Looking in.
In all honesty
I have never really fit it
Anywhere.
Its not that I don’t want to…
I do….
Its just
Every time I trust someone
They turn on me.
I look at the people
And see the little groups
They all seem happy
And I ask myself
“why can I be like that?
Why can I have a group of friends
Who I laugh with
And tell secrets to?
Why don’t people like me?
What makes me so different?”
I ask myself these
And I never seem to
Find the answers.
What is the point
Of fighting anymore
When nobody seems to care?
People say they care
But anymore
It is hard to tell
If they are lying or not?
Or if they are
Just saying it
because they pity me.
Do I ever get my happy ending?
Do I ever get a family I can be proud of?
I can get to a point
Where everything is going good
And then bam!
Something horrible happens.
Will this nightmare ever end?
Will I ever wake up
And find my life to be happy
And all the bad things
were just a dream?
Is happiness even real?!
Can you even tell me?
People tell me to be happy
And so I do
People tell be to keep trying
And so I do.
But these questions…
These thoughts…
Will they ever cease?
Can you tell me that?
Just show me
The way out
Of this darkness
And into the light.
That’s what I wish for.
Can you help me?
Please tell me you can
Because I cant carry this much longer
I am about to collapse
And if I collapse
I seriously don’t know
If I’ll be able to
Get back up
My life seem to be like
I am fighting World War III.
I get a moment of peace
And then all hell breaks loose.
Does the sun ever shine?
Will it always be dark and cloudy?
The place I go home to
Is supposed to be my safe haven
But instead it like
Being shot down, tasered
Ran over by a bus
And beaten to a inch of my life
All at once
I don’t wish for death
I don’t wish for a complete new start anymore
I don’t with for a place to call home anymore
I don’t wish for my family anymore
I simply wish for everything
Bad to go away
And let me have some peace
Is that such a bad thing to which for?
Just show me the way



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