A painful spit
My body goes numb
My heart begins to break
Into a thousand pieces

I have nowhere to run
Nowhere to turn
There is no rising sun
And my soul begins to burn

I have said what I’ve said
And done what I’ve done
So now I advise you
Take just take the gun

Before I pull the trigger myself
And regret the outcome
If I live through it at all
Off the emotion rollercoaster I will fall

I look at the pictures
Pics from the past
And wonder who the girl is
Is she me wearing a mask?

There is a bitter taste
Left on my tongue
It stems from all the battles
I have won

Tears fall down my face
Each one a step closer
To my long dreamt
Possibility of a great escape

An escape that will replace
The bitter taste in my mouth
With a taste of sweetness
Of living without doubt

Reality is a land
In which I don’t wanna live
But I’m stuck in this place
So I will continue the fight

I may be tired
I may be depressed
I may be tempted by material riches
But I will fight this fight with no regrets.

I can be no one else
Beside myself
I can only be me
I can only be the person
I am meant to be

I’m showing you who I am
With my flaws and all
And stand before with my head hung low
Awaiting your call

I will fall to my knees
And pour out my heart
And speak my mind
Not caring about my faults.

The gun is in my hand
My finger on the trigger
I know ignoring the call
Will just make me bitter

So I’ll close my eyes
And let the tears fall
Instead of holding it inside
I will release it all.
Truth be told I don’t feel sad
Or even have regrets
For the actions I have preformed
And the words I have said

This is how I feel
My emotions are raw
I’m staying true to my heart
Not waiting for the applause.

This is not a show
It isn’t an act
The curtain on my life is closed
And this is where I stand.

So you have a choice to make
A choice as a friend
To accept me for me flaws
And love me for who I am.

There are no more games
No more fears
Just me standing here
In the desperate need of care