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what are we gonna do with no way out?
you asked, the brown spheres of your irises
searching for the answer i didn’t have

once upon a time, there was no way in
no mode of peeling the pearl carapace
around your heart and soul and spirit

then one day, i drew a line across the
sea of your heart, soul, and spirit
the fleshy pieces parted halfway

when i delve into the clear blue water
the love that we thought would flourish
dissolved in the cyanide of our indifference

and finding no exit with the neon
lights pointing out the remedy
we didn’t move but stood still

dumbstruck and befuddled
ruing each moment that crumbled
like the pillars of an old roman temple



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Krasota-Butterflies-and-AngelsThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 14 at 2:37 pm:
Dat cyanide, though. I loved that line in this poem :) Excellent job. Find myself getting into Lana Del Ray as well, btw. XD 5/5
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 9:39 pm :
Thanks! And YESH! Lana sings to the soul. Love her so much. 
 
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ChrisJThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 6 at 7:55 pm:
I crave this piece. Clever wording and a GREAT use of vocabulary. Another job well done Mckay 5/5!
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 9:39 pm :
Chris, it's been centuries! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Your feedback makes my day. Thank you, my friend. 
 
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Jade.I.AmThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 5 at 7:17 pm:
Glad to see this in it's final form :) Love it! Dark, and beautifully worded.
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 9:38 pm :
It's not in it's finished form...yet. I'm still working with your editorial advices for this child of mine. Thanks for reading. Always appreciate it. ^j^
 
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Ray--yoThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jun. 17 at 11:41 am:
I liked the details in your imagery, really great work. (very intimidating as well for me)
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 4 at 4:22 pm :
thanks. 
 
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TheSkyOwesMeRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
May 25 at 11:42 pm:
I LOVE IT! What struck me the most was your use of really strong words like fleshy, cyanide, neon, and crumbled. Simply amazing! I think I'm going to have to go listen to that song now :) 
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 4 at 4:23 pm :
thank u. and plz do. tell me what u think of it. 
 
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haley101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Apr. 28 at 10:13 am:
this first stanza is very interesting. I like the description of eyes and glances that you use.   
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 1 at 2:30 pm :
thanks for reading & commenting :)
 
haley101This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
May 1 at 8:29 pm :
your very welcome! I'd love it if you could check out some of my work.   
 
MckayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
today at 9:37 pm :
I'll try as soon as possible. No promises, but I'll definitely will some time. :)
 
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