Dark Path | Teen Ink

Dark Path

April 22, 2014
By PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
91 articles 18 photos 330 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."


Jack became a monster long before he was a man
As a child he played with knives
And gazed into the fire
People always said he would grow up in death’s embrace
But he knew right from the start
Where his dark path began

Poor Jack had realized that he had been trapped
Forced to endure what the other children knew of him
Seeking the light, he was turned cruelly away
But as he grew, he knew for sure
Where his dark path would lead

First he got away with little sins that no one saw
Giggling like someone who
Had heard a filthy lie
When he cast his shadow down upon the daisy fields
People ran away as though they saw the devil himself

When he was fourteen he ran away with someone’s dog
Spoke to it while fidgeting with some poor old man’s watch
When it fled from him he swore and cursed upon his grave
“I will wait for my revenge! It won’t be too long now!”

Then he was a strapping man with trophies on his shelf
Each one picked from pockets far away from foreign lands
When he was arrested, he laughed silently and said
“Putting me in a cage is rich for I’m already trapped!”

When I went to see this man as he lay down to rest
Smirking at the gray gravestone, I smiled and I grinned
“You were once a monster who lived here inside my head.”
I turned away and cried out as he rose up from the ground



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This article has 6 comments.


on Aug. 9 2014 at 12:48 am
RhiannonH PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
49 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons,make grape juice and then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

and thanks :)

on Aug. 9 2014 at 12:48 am
RhiannonH PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
49 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons,make grape juice and then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

its posted. its the one called O.B.E.

on Apr. 24 2014 at 7:02 pm
PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
91 articles 18 photos 330 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Thank you! I'd love to read what you wrote! I'm sure it must be great :)

on Apr. 24 2014 at 7:01 pm
PirateCountry DIAMOND, Muncie, Indiana
91 articles 18 photos 330 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."

Thank you very much! I'm sorry if it was vague and unclear as you said. I didn't get my thoughts down very well. You know how something makes sense in your head but not in everyone else's? Yeah, I need to work on that. Thanks again!

on Apr. 24 2014 at 10:33 am
TaylorWintry DIAMOND, Carrollton, Texas
72 articles 0 photos 860 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby." - Unknown

Whoa.. Goosebumps! This is really interesting, but it was also a little unclear. That might just be me, though. However, I like how it's kind of vague and a little confusing. It makes the reader really have to nitpick to figure out what's going on. I like when poems challenge me like that. Very creepy and dark, which i like. I also liked when you "trophies... Each one picked from pockets...." That was an awesome, awesome line. Really cool. Last, I liked how the last line of the first two stanzas kind of connects. That made the poem flow a little more, and I think you could continue that pattern throughout the entire piece to promote more flow.

on Apr. 24 2014 at 9:37 am
RhiannonH PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
49 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life hands you lemons,make grape juice and then sit back and watch as the world wonders how you did it.

I really like this. I've sort written something like it before, but yours is way better


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