I'm sorry Sis

April 10, 2014
By bigard GOLD, Newton IL, Illinois
bigard GOLD, Newton IL, Illinois
17 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Sleeping my night's in silent array
I'd be terrorized by death defying screams
So i would wake up right away
to my sister who was always having dreams
creeping and tip toeing down the hallway,
to comfort her heart broken dream
but I always hesitated in the doorway,
frightened with my excuse of a self esteem
She was my sister, were part of a team
and shared the same vain's in our bloodstream
but i still let you stray, the pain for you i scream

This is my reality, i let you portray
I hauntingly peeked an ye in the doorway,
but then painfully I always walked away.
Retreating back to my room
that's how brave I am,
please do not assume, i left you to doom
i wish i could of saved you, damn
Sis I'm sorry I'm weak,
in the time you felt bleak,
I wish I was the brother you chime to speak
or help you climb your highest peak,
I could of helped you just one time,
but I didn't even squeak
Sorry sis, I'm your meek freak of a geek,
floating down piss creek,
who didn't get out when you were weak.
All I could do was sneak by your door,
the old floor would creak,
while watching nothing more,
then your tears pour down your cheek.
while you death grip your pillow for a subtle shriek
I would hit the drawer, in the moment you were bleak
for my diary of experiences of being a sore sneak.
Sorry sis, someday I promise to show my hidden drawer,
but today I have more regret and pain then I can endure.

Sis sorry again, but this what i seen,
the first time, you were ten,
and I wish I had never seen:
a little girl clenching to her pillow,
cute hair with a curl, besides her is Scrat her squirrel
facade is happy, but she feels so low
her emotions are brittle and killing her though.
I don't know why she feels inferior though,
she never lets her emotions go,
where's the imaginary foe
that steals her shine from the show
and never lets her smile glow,
how could she be like this? uh uh No
she's too little to be a true fiasco,
something is haunting her though,
we are blinded in her shadow,
I wish we did now though.
I went into her room awhile ago,
saw a picture of a rainbow.
I picked it up and said whoa
she left out the color yellow?
Which is joy, happiness, warmth,
is what it's meant to bestow.
I turned the back over,
my heart geared a tempo,
being caught in a defying blow
that measure to no meaning of real sorrow,
a girl slitting herself and watching her blood flow
and a frame by frame animation of her own Picasso,
using the blood to word a message in her scenario.
It says "please no no!
Its ok honey, it will be our little secret though,
no one will know."
I should have thrown it out the window,
but I stared at it, instead of throw,
because I didn't understand why? Or the scenario.

Some time passed, I forgot and let it go.
It makes me realize now, how I am so shallow
and why she will always live tainted, stained ego.
My Uncle Tommy got busted for a child porno
he lived in the house by us below,
and was a lonely widow.
It was a shocking OH,
watching them come put the cuffs on and go.
No one realized the memento,
he took her soul,
and let it die in the shadow,
no one saw it though
This little girl stripped of everything sacred to hold,
left with her heart beating cold,
souls been sold,
been told and unwillingly controlled,
and her sexuality been stole.
I'm sorry sis, if you never feel whole.
This could have been different,
but I was too weak to prevent
I could repent, but you still will never have
the life your meant to represent.
Its gone and sent,
but maybe theres still a lingering scent
I'm sorry sister, for our world and it's evil content,
we will never understand 100 percent.

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