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A Play On A Play On Words This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

When the tides change
I’ll be free
to drown among my people
in the ancient lands of nowhere
nowhere you would go
with a head upon my hat
and feet upon my shoes
it’s time to go inside
to survive
the cold of the air conditioning
in my room it’s harsh living
with the lights turned off
no one makes a sound
except the pitter patter of my soul
across the aluminum roof of my mind
like raindrops in your eye
all you are is a blurred image
thoughts once clear
are now hard to see
I have to retrieve my telescope
just to see you
still leaves me empty inside
’cause I think it’s my fault
that I have no idea
but I don’t know what to think
or where to begin
so I just sit and wait
for the tide to come in.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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shellbi123 said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 9:33 am
this is amazing! i loved it keep writing the image is really cool
 
shellbi123 replied...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 9:37 am
and as u said to " john smith" i don't think they know what they are saying when they say it's  cliche
 
LilStinka said...
Nov. 2, 2010 at 8:31 am
Wow, this is really good:D I love how I can never guess what's coming next!
 
WritingJulia This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:59 pm
I could just drown in the beauty of this for hours! 
 
Michelle24 said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:42 pm
This is fantastic. I keep on reading it over and over. I like the way you use the words!
 
GuitarGirl92851 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:24 pm
I love the imagery in this. I feel like I really know what you mean with the way you're using all these words in strange ways; ways that they usually aren't used.
 
Swordpen This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Nice title great poem one that you could just think about for hours on end
 
bethy4916 said...
Oct. 11, 2010 at 10:08 am
Sheer beauty. A perfect poem.
 
kmarie14 said...
Oct. 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I love this. My favorite part is the last two or three lines :) a.maz.ing! :) please check out my work, I would love to hear ur opinion! Thanks for posting ;)
 
CammyLashay said...
Sept. 19, 2010 at 9:29 pm
i Love!!! it
 
thebushhippie said...
Sept. 19, 2010 at 7:43 am
LOVED IT! My favorite part is the last few lines, especially "so I just sit and wait for the tide to come in". Love it, love it, love it!!!!!
 
IamtheStargirl said...
Sept. 13, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I love this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your imagery is great!
 
OstentatiousNature This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 11:10 pm
This is beautiful! Great, great job. Totally a favorite!
 
spoarder said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 10:10 pm
I really liked this! Great job!
 
alwayskelley This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 8:50 pm

wowthis is really good!!

 

*could you please check out and comment on my stuff?? thnx

 
DifferentTeenThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 28, 2010 at 1:30 pm
Nice poem, I loved the way you ended it! Check out my poem "Freedom" or some others?
 
reg93 said...
Aug. 20, 2010 at 7:15 pm
This is really good! You have some skills... (:
 
xlivelaughlove This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2010 at 12:32 pm
I must say, this was a mind-bender. I enjoyed it a whole dang lot, don't get me wrong. I thought it was...refreshing. That's the word. The continuity of the piece flowed all the way until the end, and then it seemed so complete. Really nice job. [:
 
DiamondsIntheGrass This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 2:56 pm

nice. very flowy just like a poem should be. and comes to a natural and graceful stop.  this is so cool. good metaphors.

 

but i have no idea what you are talking about.

 
pinkypromise23 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 6, 2010 at 11:31 pm
haha i know right? (:
 
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