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A Play On A Play On Words This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.


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When the tides change
I’ll be free
to drown among my people
in the ancient lands of nowhere
nowhere you would go
with a head upon my hat
and feet upon my shoes
it’s time to go inside
to survive
the cold of the air conditioning
in my room it’s harsh living
with the lights turned off
no one makes a sound
except the pitter patter of my soul
across the aluminum roof of my mind
like raindrops in your eye
all you are is a blurred image
thoughts once clear
are now hard to see
I have to retrieve my telescope
just to see you
still leaves me empty inside
’cause I think it’s my fault
that I have no idea
but I don’t know what to think
or where to begin
so I just sit and wait
for the tide to come in.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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JackieHThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 28 at 11:21 pm:
WOW this is fantastic!!
 
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Bookworm1998This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 13 at 7:34 pm:
this was such a great poem to read, seeing as poetry isn't what i usually ceom here for - irragardless, it's amazing!
 
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MarieAntoinette2012This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Apr. 13 at 7:01 am:
That's an amazing mental picture. It's powerful!
 
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Swims.M.V.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 22 at 6:55 pm:
B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L. :D I loved it
 
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hypermagical said...
Mar. 22 at 4:08 pm:

You've brought tears to my eyes... it's kind of embarrassing, I'm in a public library for goodness' sake.

Haha, seriously though this is beautiful!

 
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Zero_BlackThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 22 at 8:56 am:
this is really nice! i like the idea itself, of course, but the way you wrote it was very pretty. i especially like the part with the air and the room. 
 
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Fia-fiaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 22 at 7:02 am:

Hey! So i know i already commented, but i came back and reread it... and I am very glad i did! IT is still truly amazing, creative, and all around good. But i think i begin to understand it a bit more! Thank you for sharing and Congrats!!

:)

 
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Kimani G. This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 29 at 5:40 pm:

yo ... Bro this is like awesome ... i like how you ended it. I look forward to reading more :)!

 

 
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ClaudeTheDemonButler said...
Feb. 29 at 5:26 pm:
Very beautiful. Also very well constructed. LOVE It
 
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james14This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 29 at 2:17 pm:
this is so beautiful!!!!!!!!! the metaphors are so awesome!!!!!!!!!
 
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AnnoymousThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Feb. 29 at 9:17 am:
three comments down someone wrote keep up the god work instead of good work lol keep up the god work :)
 
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laurensoccerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Feb. 7 at 3:16 pm:
Beautiful just beautiful!
 
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rescuetruck607This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 9:13 pm:
amazing! truly perfect keep up the god work!!
 
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NigomayNamikazeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 7:21 pm:
Oh man! You make me seem like childs play. Amazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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phoebesara said...
Jan. 16 at 4:14 pm:
i love this poem...you have so much talent! this is a great piece
 
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auswaggThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 1:24 pm:
Wow, this is such an amazing piece. Only someone with a true gift can write like this. This is fantastic, so creative. Amazing!
 
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FuturePoetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 10:57 am:
WOW......That is amazing. keep writing!!
 
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Amber4141610This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 8:46 am:
Speechless...Wow
 
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alligator6This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 16 at 12:10 am:
this poem is so good, it makes my stomach ache with jealousy. you're a FANTASTIC writer. i can't even begin to explain.. you're just THAT good. never stop writing, please. i'm just speechless.
 
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FakesmileThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 4 at 12:15 pm:
Words can't describe how good you are. Please! I beg you, keep writing!!!! :)
 
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MoraleAshThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 11:55 pm:
This is simply amazing.
 
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aurorairisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 7:48 pm:
This is my ultimate favorite! Its so deep!! So wonderful! Don't EVER stop writing!! Please read and comment on some of my work!
 
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Fia-fiaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 12:43 pm:
Amazing.... creative... inspirational.... wow. Though i would never claim to fully understand a work of art, or to try and wrap it into a neat little box, i think i sorta understand what you are trying to say.... and its beautiful. THank you and please keep writing! :)
 
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killjoy74 said...
Dec. 25, 2011 at 9:31 am:
I really liked this! You're an amazing writer
 
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muna.najihahThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 11, 2011 at 11:49 am:

when i go through it once, i don't really get it.

after reading it again, i understand just how beautiful it means. love it

 
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laxgirl9 said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 6:49 pm:
absolutley beautiful :)
 
emilybwritesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 7:59 pm :
wow....wow....wow! this was great please check out my poem "forgotten Domain" and comment and rate it i would love some feedback:) thanks!
 
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GirlWhoWroteThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 3:25 pm:
wow this is very good! I love the title. Annnnnddd... check out my work? :)
 
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MsAnonymousThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:36 pm:
I love this poem because you put feeling into it. It made me think. I don't comprehend it completely, but I like it that way because it makes it personal to you and mysterious to the reader.
 
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youngspeareThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 9:29 am:
Very good :) The title itself is awesome.
Check out my work please!
 
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awensman95This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Dec. 3, 2011 at 12:46 am:

I especially love your metaphors! :) keep it up!

 

 
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iluvrockandroll2 said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 9:07 pm:

this is amazin!!

what ever u do,keep writing :)

 
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emilybwritesThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 8:24 pm:
wow fantastic!!!! would everyone please check out my poem "Forgotten Domain" and rate and comment on it?? thanks! and great job aagain:)
 
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ashleynThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 5:14 pm:

This is really good!! I love your word choice and voice! Job well done! (:

 

 
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aurorairisThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 2:23 pm:

Wow! This is my favoite piece ever!! I all the different literary devices you used!! Amazing!

Please check out some of my poems!

 
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AlwaysDanceInTheRainThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm:
Are you kidding me? I totally wrote a poem JUST like this like two weeks ago but didn't post it... Looks like you beat me to it! :) Great job!
 
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TheWhiteFlowerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 11:48 am:

this is very inspiring

good job!!!!!

 
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T.A.Wieczorek said...
Nov. 11, 2011 at 7:30 am:
This was a really inspiring poem. I'm glad it got into the mag! I'm brand new to Teen Ink but this poem alone has inspired my own writing. I'll have it posted soon if you wanted to look and see. :)
 
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buns itbn said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 11:51 am:

this book fabulose it makes me CRAZYYYYYYY  ITS FABOO NOW WHO EVER WROTE THIS NEEDS TO PUCKER UP BUTTER CUP

 

 
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lonelyLaviathinThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 11:10 am:
bad a**... defiantley my new favorite line of a poem is "across the aluminum foor of my mind"...bravo. encore??
 
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CandyGirl636This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 5:08 am:
This is amazing. Your a great writer. Keep it up darlin. :)
 
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charlie24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Oct. 20, 2011 at 5:00 am:
like bken 24 i would like to shake your hand but i am on the opposite side of the world so i am just going to have to say WELL DONE, THAT WAS AMAZING!
 
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AristotlesApprenticeThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 11:18 pm:
This is a very good and deep poem. I believe you show i sense of rebelliousness, if thats even a word, saying how you would like to drown when almost 70% of people in the world have the fear of drowing. Also I believe you are presenting a sense of how you want to be different, when you said, "head upon my hat, and feet upon my shoes". Then in the end, you portray sadness when you said, "all you are is a blurred image, thoughts once clear are now hard to see....still leaves me empty inside" 
 
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Anonymous_7This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 28, 2011 at 10:28 pm:
This was awesome! You are a great writer, Keep it up!
 
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marissa87 said...
Sept. 6, 2011 at 5:19 pm:
wow you are a really good writer!!! this is awesome excellent job!!
 
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loverrrgiirlxxThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 6, 2011 at 9:56 am:
i love this !
 
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TotheSeaThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 5:24 pm:
Wow.  This is melodic, is the word I would use to describe it!  Of course, great poetry can't be described in words.
 
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Laura_OliverThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 12:23 pm:
This would make a really good song, especially the 'stanza' that rhymes..."But I don't know what to think/Or where to begin/So I just sit and wait/For the tide to come in". And I would really appreciate it if you checked out my poems, like "True Colors". Well, anyway, good job!!!
 
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NothingSpecialThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 11:07 am:
I love this poem! It is very creative and just beautiful!!!
 
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VintageWriter said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 11:02 am:
I love this, the emotion, the feeling, the play on words! Every thing about it just wow! Amazing, well done sir, well done.
 
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