March 28, 2014
Tears of hatred
stream down my face
When all I want
is for you to leave this place

It just took a second for my emotion to show
Just like the tides in the ocean
I want you to go

For you to leave this place
you'll have to leave my heart
I'll worry about
love, looks, and being smart

My heart was shriveled
by the time that you left
By the time it cracked all the way open
It gave its last wheeze and breath

By the time I grew up
I had nothing to give
My heart was to cracked
how could I have lived?

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WOWriting said...
Jun. 4, 2014 at 10:52 am
I really like this. The rhyming is steady, about from a few lines and other than one random part, it flowed well. However, the title confused me. Is this written to an abandoned mother or is the mother abandoning her at the time she's 'crying'? If she's crying and wanting her mother to leave and then she does, what's wrong? Correct me if i'm wrong. Like this a lot tho :)
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