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Love Poem

I hope it's nice where you are
All I really want to do
Is spend as much time with you as socially acceptable
I hope love is something like this



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leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 21 at 6:28 pm:
First: nitpicky me wonders why the first letters of the second and third lines are capitalized if the other lines (that don't start with "I") are not. Also, IMO, while I don't think poetry should always require correct punctuation, I think in this case it might help with the flow of the poem. You don't have to, but maybe you could experiment with periods/commas/&c and see if that helps with the rhythm?   Anyway, I enjoyed the poem---short and sweet. I loved how... (more »)
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Mar. 21 at 6:29 pm :
Aw I guess paragraph breaks don't work for commenting on articles...sorry about that format
 
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